SOUR grapes. Those two words tumbled down my lips when I read reports that some disgruntled elements were complaining loudly about President Goodluck Jonathan's request for about N55 million for the maintenance of horses and dogs, just about one month to the end of the year.It is part of his proposal of N98 billion virement before the close of this glorious year; the year that gave our prudent president full authority to occupy the country's Number One seat; and one that transported the man of humble canoe-paddling beginnings to dizzying heights.'Disgruntled elements'! How I love those words that seemed to have gone out of fashion with the exit of military rulers in 1999, until recently!Thankfully, the two-word phrase is making a comeback and we will soon have no difficulty dismissing professional critics who will complain, no matter what.That is the best way to describe them, as it is increasingly becoming clear why the government must withdraw the crippling subsidy on petroleum products, in the overall interest of the country.How can any government continue to spend about N1 trillion subsidising any product for its citizens, when there are many more critical areas of national need, such as maintenance of dogs and horses' I ask.A look at the virement proposal will show the areas that the government considers as critical and requiring urgent attention before the year comes to an end: N25, 678,910 for the maintenance of horses and N29, 068,200 for the maintenance of dogs.The others are N10, 658,340 for the maintenance of Police Band, N995, 524,472 for fueling of vehicles and N1.08 billion for vehicle transport. The government needs yet another sum of N945, 540,000 for "local transport and travel."If you are a bad electricity consumer, you do not have a pal in the Federal Government as it plans to pay electricity bill of N484,470,000 while N1,944 billion is for uniforms and other clothing.Now, is there any reason to oppose the government's plan to increase fuel prices by way of removing subsidy on the product'Does anyone need the Mathematical wizardry of Ayodele Awojobi to know that for a population of about 150 million, the N1 trillion hefty sum comes to nothing per citizen, compared to what the government intends to spend on the maintenance of its prized dogs and horses'Unfortunately, the professional critics will never see anything good in what our masses-oriented government does. They did not only falsely report that the House of Representatives had approved the proposal -- when the matter has only passed through second reading in the hallowed chamber -- but also insinuated that a whopping sum of N2 billion was used to bribe the honourable members to secure their nod! I bet, they are currently working round the clock to know the phantom sum that they will claim the Executive gave out in their imagined bribe to our distinguished Senators.Can you believe that lie' To dishonour our honourable members, 360 of them, with a paltry N2 billion in a proposal of N98 billion, which will allow the president spend N25 million on national horses and N29 million for the maintenance of national dogs in one month'It was therefore heart-warming reading the reaction of the honourable members to the report, which I am sure, was clearly out to demean not just the office of the President, but the legislators as well.The bad belle people also insinuated that the N2 billion matter became public knowledge only because of the difficulty in the sharing formula: While some principal officers in the House of Representatives believed that the chicken feed was for them alone, some other members sounded a note of warning that there would be hell if any such sum eluded them, chicken feed or not; this is Christmas time and any money will be appreciated!Thankfully, the members of the House of Representatives will give the proposal the urgency it requires, so that our national animals will be well fed. Hungry human beings can be fed to the dogs, since there is nothing left in waste dumps, anyway! Still on fuel subsidyIt does not matter that in other parts of the world, subsidy is a matter of national policy. Why should anybody criticise our government for not considering removing the so-called fuel subsidy, which it regards as obnoxious, to agriculture' The general pledges of infrastructure and job generation will do.I read somewhere in the week that the United States government has expressed support for the plan by its Nigerian counterpart to remove the subsidy. That is some quality support, you must say. It must be the last bastion of opposition to the masses-oriented plan, no doubt.It does not matter that the US government heavily subsidises agriculture, the same policy that Western European countries will never compromise on.Summit after summit, officials of the United States and Western Europe have continually staged walkouts at global summits where they are asked to cut subsidy on agriculture for their own farmers to help grow agriculture in poorer countries and help the world reduce starvation. Have we forgotten so soon too that just a few years ago, the then US President George W. Bush sought to arm-twist Nigeria and other oil-producing nations to force down the price of crude oil because his citizens could not bear high fuel prices' In fact, sometime in 2008, the US House of Representatives purported to derecognise the Organisation of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC), describing it as a cartel, just to force down the prices of petroleum products for the benefit of American citizens.In 2010, according to Wikipedia, the EU spent 57 billion euros on agricultural development, 39 billion of which was in direct subsidies, while the US pays about $20 billion for the same purpose.An uncle of mine jocularly offers a prayer point each time a stupid act or the other of his children resulted in some form of benefit to him: "May the good Lord never grant the foolish the spirit of discernment, so that the wise will continue to have something to prey on."I am sure that the United States government and others who wish to profit from a prostrate Nigeria will say a loud Amen to that!
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