I was almost going to take the statement seriously, but the instinct of many years of experience with the Nigeria Labour Congress poured very cold water on the excitement that was beginning to build up. Don't blame me for getting excited at the potential of trouble. That is the inhuman side of a journalist. He sits in a sour mood hoping that something newsworthy would happen. It doesn't matter what; even a tragedy would be preferred to a void of news; a callous insensitivity to the misfortune of the victims of the tragedy. Everything is seen from the perspective of news. Let there be news; to hell with every other consideration.That was the context in which I received the report of the Nigeria Labour Congress threat to call workers out on a general strike and mass protest over the planned removal of petrol subsidy by the Jonathan administration. Acting General Secretary Owei Lakemfa, who made his mark on the labour beat at the Vanguard newspaper, said in the statement by the Congress that 'We call on all Nigerian workers and people to begin preparations for a general strike and mass protests. The people must be prepared in the next few weeks when the Jonathan administration begins to implement his anti-Nigerian policy. Nigerians should prepare to occupy the streets and public institutions to prevent them from being taken over by anti-patriotic forces...the NLC leadership will meet on Tuesday December 20, to firm up strategies and give directives on the commencement of the protest and the resolve of workers and other Nigerians to reclaim their country'.That NLC statement must have received a lot of inspiration from the Arab Spring. You begin to see images of huge gatherings at squares and other public places in Libya, Egypt, Yemen, replicating themselves in Abuja, Lagos, Kaduna, Enugu etc. If you are a little careless in circumspection, you may even begin to think that the beginning of a major revolution in Nigeria is here. In the preparation that the NLC has called for, you may begin to sew fancy shorts and T-shirts suitable for the quick bursts of running that such protests demand when security agents show up. The material must be such that will be friendly in the scorching sun that is sure to characterise the early days of January 2012. You may begin to shop for canvass shoes, suitable for sudden sprints in uneven terrains that will host such protests. Of course you will not forget to get a good hat, fez cap or face cap. You also will not forget to tell the tailor that will sew your shorts to put many huge pockets in it to carry stones and pebbles that will serve as your missile against security agents as you retreat from them in wisdom. After all David did slay the mighty and well armed Goliath with just a few pebbles.On the first day of the strike and protest, fiery speeches would be made by labour leaders. No retreat, no surrender. Solidarity forever. Work would be paralysed; commercial vehicles would be off the streets because the Union of Road Transport Workers would lock up their vehicles. Government would invite labour leaders to talks, as the strike continues the second day. Fewer people would be at the rendezvous points but workers would remain at home. No electricity, no foodstuff at home, no petrol to power generators for the workers who have stayed at home; life becomes unbearably boring and a few wives are made the pleasure of the times by their husbands, preparing the way for another burden to the already overburdened family in nine months.By the third day, appeals are made by traditional rulers and eminent citizens for the strike to end. The Union of Road Transport Workers members are broke and hungry; you know they live on daily earnings, so some of them return to work. The labour leaders meetings with government continue behind closed doors; you know the why of that. Shortly before midnight of the third day, a spokesperson of labour addresses the press when the exhausted strikers have gone to bed...'the strike has been called off in the interest of the country. Government and labour have set up a joint committee to review the removal and recommend palliative measures to government. The committee will report back in two weeks'. Labour would warn that the strike would be resumed if government failed to be faithful in this arrangement. Bewildered workers would wake up the next morning to learn of the call off and hurriedly prepare for work. The holiday is over. Many would discuss the situation at work and wonder what was actually being negotiated over the three days, the reasons for the strike or the payment for the call off. Of course nothing would be heard of the committee or the strike anymore and life would settle down at the new price of petrol. Those who expected otherwise would be sadly disappointed in their naivety. The Arab Spring was not started by any labour union. Not since the days of Lech Walesa in Poland has labour been a meaningful catalyst to social revolution. All of these would have taken a heavy toll on the labour leaders and they would have become weary and tired. A 'deserving' vacation they would embark upon, perhaps to the Caribbean Islands or some exotic resort in Europe. They would need to be reinvigorated for the next labour battle. Solidarity forever.The name of the game is Shakara. Shakara Oloje. Fela Anikulapo knew the game very well. I go beat you you go nearly die, na shakara; I go beat you e go be like you get accident, na shakara; You no know me' Na shakara; wait make a commot my dress, na shakara. The harder the threats, the bigger the game and the bigger the spoils. NLC is playing shakara. We have seen it played many times in the past. What followed the threats' Many successful removals of fuel subsidy. Invoke the spirit of Fela Anikulapo-Kuti to play Shakara Oloje for the NLC. Maximum one week, the removal of subsidy would be accepted with slight modifications and labour would go to sleep again. That is the style from the days gone by.
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