IN Ibadan, Oyo State, and its environs of the early 80s, he was immensely popular by his comical character name in a sitcom, Why Worry' It is the name of the weekly comedy in which he is a loquacious, happy-go-lucky barber.His name: Akin Lewis Jnr. Then, he was lanky and carried a bushy beard, these days he has added some flesh and is clean-shaven. His urbanity has endured, while his sharp and high-pitched voice of yore has given way to a soft and tender tone.In the classic comedy that cracked our ribs on-end those days, the "Why Worry'" character, will time and again leave his customer's hair half done to address his imaginary audience and ask, while the customer sits impatiently: "Why worry'"That question will be followed by the riposte: 'If you worry, you go die; if you no worry, you go die; ehn, why worry for nothing''Roughly translated, it means, 'if you give in to brooding, you will die one day; if you are carefree, you'll still die one day; so, why not just live simply and enjoy yourself''Each time the customer gets impatient and asks him to focus on the job at hand, the character 'Why Worry'' has a ready response: 'Who do you think you are talking to' I am no ordinary barber, remember! I am trained by a London-trained barber!'As he gets to work, a passerby will salute the character thus: 'Why whoor'' to which the excited barber will jump, as if startled, before responding: 'O se o jare (thanks a lot). Why worry, the lion. If you worry, you go die; if you no worry, you go die. Trained by London-trained barber ni yen (that's me).'That was before our darling Akin Lewis suddenly disappeared from the radar and relocated abroad for further studies. Upon his return a few years back, he has once again taken the movie industry by a storm, with superlative performances in both the English Language and the Yoruba speaking genres.In this environment where anything foreign means better, and whatever is indigenous is inferior, it is no wonder that the "Why Worry'" character wears his being trained by a London-trained barber as a badge.Akin Lewis and his craftsmanship are not the subject of interest today, although I believe he deserves it and more.It is just that his 'Why Worry'' character came to my mind on Wednesday this week, when it was reported that the Lagos Waste Management Authority (LAWMA) had decided to send some of its street sweepers to the United Kingdom for training.Apparently, those sweepers will return home after the training to be better characters than Akin Lewis: They are to be trained in that specialist and esoteric field of human endeavour called street sweeping, not just by people who had been trained in London, but indeed by Londoners and in London! First hand London training, not the second hand case that "Why Whoor'"so often brags about!Lucky them. The street cleaners found a job in Lagos where there is apparently more money than sense. Their counterparts in Ilorin, Kwara State, and Calabar, Cross River State, who have proved that Nigerian cities can be as spick and span as any European city have themselves to blame for not migrating to Lagos, the famed city of money, to ply their trade.The helmsmen at LAWMA must have watched too many of the 'Why Worry'' series and must have taken to heart what is intended to be a joke in it: That a UK-training in any field is a badge of honour.There is so much money that LAWMA also intends to also send some of its cleaners on pilgrimages to Mecca and Israel!The National Mirror newspaper reported the story thus: 'Street sweepers and other waste management service providers in Lagos metropolis are in for a good time as the state government has unfolded plans to reward them with incentives to spur them to work more. For the commitment, dedication and dignity they have brought into their work, six of their supervisors are to be sent to the United Kingdom on a three-month training programme to broaden their scope.'The report continued: 'The training, which is an exchange programme, is to enable them see modern and best ways of waste management. Twelve of the sweepers are to be sponsored on all-expenses-paid pilgrimage by the Lagos Waste Management Authority (LAWMA) to Mecca and Jerusalem. 'Speaking with journalists at the weekend, Managing Director of LAWMA, Mr. Ola Oresanya, said the incentives were meant to boost their morale and encourage them to work more.'It would have been hilarious but for its serious nature! Was that not what the abami eda (weird one) Fela Anikulapo-Kuti sang about accusing Nigerian leaders of deficiency in focus and direction' The music icon, a true prophet that he was, saw the day that Nigerian leaders would travel abroad for studies on how to carry wastes! That day has, sadly, come and in our lifetime.Forty-eight hours after it was published, LAWMA as at the time of going to press yesterday had not refuted the report. I am therefore inclined to believe that it is true.Yet, I will not. I will not accept that the leadership of any organisation in Nigeria will consider committing the nation's resources to training people abroad on 'modern and best ways of waste management.'Has any of the leaders of LAWMA paid a visit to Ilorin, Kwara State, recently' Or to Calabar, where virtually every street is not only anti-septic but also grassed on both sides'If there is a need to review the process and procedure in other climes, is it difficult to get one or two of such foreign 'experts' to come to Lagos and conduct the training for all its sweepers, instead of a privileged few' Are there no video compact discs and multimedia materials for the training'At a period the state is complaining of paucity of funds and increasing its tax drive, while shedding its responsibilities by imposing school fees that shoot through the roof, it must not be seen to be engaging in this kind of wastefulness.And, pray, where in LAWMA's mandate is it included that it can send people on holy pilgrimage' Under which sub-head in its budget is it' How many more illegal and immoral expenditures are going on in that agency' God have mercy!This is a clear case of wasteful spending which must suffer what medical personnel call Brought In Dead (BID). The proposal must be dead on arrival.Presidential tasteAS the details of the 2012 Appropriation Bill continue to get to the public, a conclusion is inexorable: There is a disconnect between words and action in high places in Nigeria.A leadership that is in one breadth telling the citizens to tighten their belts, because there is economic danger ahead, should not be seen to be expanding its own belt in another breadth.The budget in which the president is proposing austerity measures should not, as reported, include plans by him to buy two new bullet-proof cars; Mercedes Benz saloon 600 E Guard and to acquire 'five Mercedes Benz saloon 350 (semi plain/partial bullet proof) at N25,000,000 each, 10 jeeps (assorted - Range Rover, Prado and Land Cruiser) at N10,000,000 each and procurement of accessories and maintenance equipment for guard vehicles at N25,000,000.'It definitely should also not include plans to spend N75.9 million to upgrade the extension of gates (!) at Aso Rock Villa and another N35.9 million to extend power supply to the State House Central Store, while yet another expenditure on Uninterrupted Power Supply (UPS) to Presidential Guest House No. 7 at the villa will gulp N57.4 million!According to reports, the expenditure on UPS is different from another N127.5 million (!) for the overhauling of power house generator sets 1 and 2, and the 'refurbishing of the family wing of the main residence at N512,375,533.00; land reclamation at the State House Medical Centre at N385,350,320.00; rehabilitation of transformer sub-station in the Villa at N101,671,574.78; extension/expansion of State House car parks at N97,950,710.50 and provision of communication equipment for the Villa, Dodan Barracks, Marina and Vice President's guest house in Lagos at N108,000,000.00.' What'Are you not getting dizzy by these figures for the personal comfort of those who are leading us and are telling us to forgo our little comfort for rosy future' I am!
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