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My dear countrymen and women

Published by Nigerian Compass on Mon, 02 Jan 2012


It is with a heavy heart that I address you this morning. Events in the last 10 years or so have confirmed our worst fears that our dear country the Federal Republic of Nottingwok may break into smithereens very soon. There is palpable fear that we are about to descend into full blown anarchy. Every facet of our national life is in shambles. When the late General Sani Abacha announced the coup of December 31, 1983, he did say amongst other woes bedevilling his nation, Nigeria, our neighbour, that their hospitals were mere consulting clinics. I dare say that our own hospitals have been reduced to mortuaries.Our education is in tatters. Right from primary school level to the university, the entire education structure is flawed, leading to a production of graduates that could hardly write an Application Letter!Our roads are death traps. We record the largest number of road accidents in the whole world. Huge sums of money earmarked for the construction and maintenance of our roads are pocketed only to reappear in vulgar mansions in Dubai, South Africa, and Ghana.You all know the great pains you go through on daily basis because of lack of reliable electricity. Our factories have been forced to close down, many had relocated to other countries which are much smaller and millions of our youth cannot find jobs because the infrastructure needed to create jobs are non-existent.The worst affliction confronting our country is INSECURITY. And you all know why. Because of mass unemployment and pervading poverty, several of our youth have been forced to take up arms against their fellow men, committing vicious armed robberies, heartless kidnapping, and worst forms of fraud. Our young women and even older women have also taken to shameless prostitution as the only available means of livelihood. My dear countrymen and women, our dear country has gone to the dogs. We have enthroned corruption and debauchery is now King. I, Ogogorogongo Musa-Ojo, the President and Commander-In-Chief of the Federal Republic of Nottingwok, in the exercise of the powers conferred on me, have now decided to take the bull by the horn and rescue our country from the precipice. It was not a light hearted decision. After several months of deep reflection, and motivated by the highest ideals, I am persuaded that this is the best option for this country. With immediate effect, the Constitution is hereby suspended. I hereby declare an EMERGENCY RULE.The National Assembly is hereby dissolved and our so-called honourables should assemble at the Jegudujera Hall for further directives.Our Armed Forces have not lived up to their billings. They are not different from their civilian counterparts in several respects, chief of which is peerage. I hereby declare military officers from Colonels (and their equivalents in the Navy and Air Force) retired with immediate effect. Meanwhile, they should remain holed up in their barracks until further notice. The Police Force has been a calamitous embarrassment to our country. My initial plan was to arraign all of them and get them shot by firing squad. But I have elected not to shed a single drop of blood in my shake-up exercise. Besides, such a step may lead to witch-hunt, because there could be a few dedicated ones amongst them. Meanwhile, all the police officers and men should immediately relocate to their local government areas pending further directives. The Republic of Nottingwok is now divided into six autonomous regions. The presidential system which is the remote cause of our corruption because of its humongous running cost is hereby abolished. As soon as Emergency Rule is lifted in 18 months time, we shall run a Parliamentary democracy. Right away, I am appointing Premiers to run the affairs of the regions which will be semi-autonomous. Each Premier shall have a maximum of nine Regional Ministers in his or her Cabinet. For now, Prefects shall administer the affairs of states in each region. Each prefect shall be assisted by a maximum of nine Commissioners. In all, we shall have the Federal Government at the center led by a Prime Minister, six regional governors led by Premiers, and states led by Prefects. States will perform the functions of Local Governments. We are going to reduce cost of governance to 25 percent of the present wasteful regime.Each region decides how many states needed in each region. I hereby abolish the current 6-3-3-4 educational programme. In its place we shall have two years of nursery, six years of primary education, five years of secondary education, two years of Higher Secondary Education and three years for university degree. Our curricular shall dwell more on technology and technical education and self sufficiency, so that most of our graduates can create their own jobs; their own employment. I shall deliver UNINTERRUPTED supply of electricity in 12 months beginning from today. Massive road and rail construction and rehabilitation will commence immediately and all hands will be on deck. I shall create 20 million jobs in the first six months, and thereafter create additional 60 million jobs in a well co-ordinated systemic Marshal Plan. In all of these, I appeal to the world community to understand and appreciate our peculiar circumstance and desperation. This is not the time for the so-called democracy fancies. Saudi Arabia knows which form of government is best suited for her people. And the world had come to accept and respect her choices. Plutocracy which is a government of the rich, or Plutogarchy which is a government of the combination of money and muscle is what the world practises and renews every four or five years. We cannot continue to delude and deceive ourselves that we practise pure democracy anywhere in the world. The Federal Republic of Nottingwok is a sovereign nation, and we should be allowed to run our affairs, make our mistakes, and forge ahead. We do not seek to interfere with or intervene in the internal affairs of any country. Let the world's notorious 'do-gooders' beware! My dear countrymen and women, this is our golden opportunity to right all the wrongs of the past. No more sacred cows. No more godfathers. Everybody must be equal before the law. No more impunity. Together we shall get to the Promised Land. Long live the Federal Republic of Nottingwok.' What a dream'.abasaheed@yahoo.ca Texts only 0815 262 7847
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