Bankers love watches. They love collecting watches. They love talking about watches.I've seen entire groups of analysts head to the nearest Rolex store the day their first bonushits the account; the Submariner is the official Wall Street starter watch.Granted, theseare the same kids who regard their blue and green canvas bags as a status symbol andthink their business cards will help them pick up girls.I've also seen a colleague cut out alife-sized picture of a Patek Philippe he was contemplating and tape it on his wrist to 'testdrive it' - not exactly a smart thing to do right before bonus. Not long after, he quit forMorgan Stanley, where he fit right in.Because there's no sales tax in Hong Kong, I've had to carry at least one watch with meon every trip to New York or London for some colleague trying to save a few (thousand)bucks. We'd use the inter-office mail to ship the box and the receipt to avoid anyproblems with customs.Our head of sales once brought back a 50th Anniversary edition Rolex Submariner (theone with the green bezel) as a favor for the head of European capital markets. As a joke,he gave him a replica he had picked up for $50 in some Kowloon street market. When thebanker asked how much he owed him, the sales guy said, 'I haven't paid for it yet. Justcut a check directly to my watch guy. Make it out to The Fay Kwotch Company.'Only after the gullible banker was made the laughing stock of the entire trading floor didhe even realize the watch was a fake.Watches matter, especially on Wall Street. Even if you don't care about watches, it'simportant to care about watches. It's often the first thing someone will use to size you up.Just as it's hard to like someone whose favorite movie sucks, I don't think I could befriends with a guy wearing a matte black Hublot Big Bang.I've seen them all and I've bought a few. So here are a few pointers to help you along.RolexIt's not a terrible place to start. Buy one when you graduate from college, assuming youaren't one of the 22 million Millennials still living with your parents. That Tag Heuer yougot for your 18th birthday does not belong in the workforce.To some extent, wearing a Rolex is like driving a BMW 3-series. It says you've got alittle bit of money, but nothing interesting to say. It's a safe, entry-level choice. Mystarter watch was a Rolex Just Date. It was stolen when I was mugged leaving a bar 3amin London.You can't go wrong with a Submariner, GMT or Sea-Dweller. But, when it comes toWall Street, the must-have Rolex is the stainless steel Daytona. And since there's awaiting list, the real status symbol is paying retail for it.Another Wall Street trick is to pick up a vintage Rolex at Christie's or Bonhams. Makeup a story about how your grandfather won it playing backgammon in Paris in 1952. Nowyour lineage is savvy and rich.HublotIf this isn't a marketing case study, it should be. Born in 1980 with no provenance,Hublot put the 'whore' in horology. The brand spent the better part of three decades inobscurity, until Jean Claude Biver took the reins in 2004.He brought in a new designer,increased the prices to shift the perception of the brand, and focused almost entirely onproduct placement and celebrity endorsements. As a result, turnover has grown more thanten-fold over the last decade. In other words, the world is full of idiots and Eurotrashbankers. Hublot Big Bang Ferrari King Gold Carbon with an amazing and unique carbon bezel incrusted with gold! #redseason #HungarianGP @scuderiaferrari A photo posted by Hublot (@hublot) on Jul 26, 2015 at 3:35am PDTon Jul 26, 2015 at 3:35am PDT PaneraiPanerai was a mediocre Italian government-contract instrument maker until Rambo camealong and made it cool, just as oversized watches were gaining in popularity. It's anaction hero watch for the guys who brag about cheating on their wives.IWCThese are the thinking man's watches, known for their understated style and renownedcraftsmanship. These are for the guys who prefer New Balance over Nike and an AudiA8 over a Mercedes S-Class. This also means I probably rather hang out with my dentistthan a guy with an IWC on.This is the watch for the guy who gets cheated on by hiswife. The Portofino Hand-Wound Pure Classic radiates composure and an undiluted aesthetic. Discover more on IWC.com A photo posted by IWC Schaffhausen (@iwcwatches) on Jul 7, 2015 at 5:22am PDTon Jul 7, 2015 at 5:22am PDT Audemars PiguetWearing one of these is like driving a G Wagon. Theoretically it's awesome, but betweenJay Z lyrics and the Kardashians, vulgarity has taken over. If your car made this list, maybe you can pull it off.Richard Mille & Franc MullerThese watches can be whimsical and fun, especially the Franc Mueller Secret Hour orCrazy Hour. But, if your job ever requires a uniform (a suit) and you don't even report tothe guy who reports to the CEO, you can't have one.These watches are best left to theRAVs (Russians, Arabs, and Villains).Patek PhilippeYou never actually own a Patek Phillippe. You merely look after it for your douchebagson. The advertisements are downright terrible, but a Patek Philippe is far and away themost coveted watch for a banker. Mort important, it's also a great investment.Just becareful. I waited two years for my Nautilus. A month later, it was stolen when I wasmugged leaving a bar in Hong Kong at 3am.SwatchA Swatch used to be a cool way of saying 'I don't take myself very seriously.'ThenLloyd Blankfein started wearing one.Now, Swatches are for people who want otherpeople to think they are unpretentious and confident. That's as pretentious as the guys inthe Hamptons driving old Wagoneers with a collection of boarding school and collegelacrosse stickers on the back.Just get a Blancpain (owned by Swatch). Not only is the Aqua Lung my favorite watch,it's also Vladimir Putin's.It's versatile, understated, and subtly masculine.Apple WatchSTFUNot wearing a watch is the new Patek'Wearing a watch is more about conveying a message than it is about telling time.Moreimportant than figuring out what message you want to send is deciding if you want to beseen sending out that message to begin with.The power move is to have a few watches stuffed away at home, and then, rarely, if ever, wear one.As my boss once said when a subordinate was showing off a new RolexYachtmaster, 'I have one of those. I keep it on my yacht.'Or as Mark Cuban said, 'When you control time, you don't need to know what time itis.'John LeFevre is the creator of @GSElevator on Twitter, and the author of a new bookand New York Times bestseller, Straight To Hell: True Tales of Deviance, Debauchery,And Billion-Dollar DealsSEE ALSO:We asked the guy behind @GSElevator about deviance, debauchery, and what he'll tell his kids about bankingJoin the conversation about this storyNOW WATCH: Here's why you should never handle confrontations at work using email
Click here to read full news..
