A new school has started in Ibadan, the capital city of Oyo State. It is christened the School of Marriage. The founder, Pastor Abraham Olusanjo Ojekanmi explains why everybody who intends to marry or who is already in the business of marriage should attend the school. Taiwo Olanrewaju sought the publics opinion on the necessity of the school, moreso that marriage is becoming decadent. Her report.My Lord, I cannot cope with this marriage any longer. My husband snores, he beats me and does not care for the children. Please dissolve our 24-year-old marriage, pleads the wife. Just like that, the Judge asked.Marriage, according to the Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary, is the legal relationship between a husband and wife.Marriages are contracted in the traditional way, in form of Introduction and Engagement; in the legal way, in form of Registry Wedding; in the Christian way, in form of Church Wedding and in the Islamic way, in form of Nikkai Wedding.There are, however, different types of marriages each society or religion permits.In the Christian society, a one man one woman model, otherwise known as monogamy is embraced while Islam and the traditional religion allow polygamy, that is the one man many wives model. Also, some societies, like the Canadian Inuit, allow polyandry, which is the one woman many husbands model. In Africa, especially in Nigeria, the most common types of marriages are monogamy and polygamy.During the marriage ceremony, marital vows are exchanged, which are meant to guide the couple through the marriage, which is supposed to be for a lifetime.Marriage vows are promises each partner in a couple makes to the other during a wedding ceremony. In secular ceremonies, vows can be chosen freely or created by the couple. Couple marrying within a religious tradition are often constrained to use the standard vows of that traditions ceremony.For instance, couples wedding in the Roman Catholic Church would make this pledge to one another thus: I, (name), take you, (name), to be my husband/wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life. I, (name), take you, (name), for my lawful husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.While in the Church of England or the Anglican Communion, Church of Nigeria, the Original Wedding Vows, as printed in the Book of Common Prayer, are: Couple: I, (name), take the, (name), to be my lawful wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to Gods holy ordinance, and thereto I plight thee my troth.Contrary to the vows taken on the wedding day, a lot of marriages still end up in divorce and separation. Within a space of six months of marriage and irrespective of the number of years spent together, marriages crack and eventually breakdown, making nonsense of the vows taken together.The Nigerian Tribune investigations revealed that a lot of couples do not understand themselves or what the marital institution stands for or entails before they walk down the aisle.Unable to reconcile their fantasies about marriage with the reality on ground, most often, couples tend to become frustrated and confused, and that impacts negatively on the relationship.The President of Ijebu-Ode Grade 11 Customary Court in Ogun State, Chief Theophilus Adenaike, recently expressed serious concern over the high divorce rate in the area in recent time.Adenaike identified the lack of planning, impatience, immaturity and economic challenges as some of the major factors responsible for the upsurge in divorce cases in the country.He noted with regret that many couples decided to go into marriage without familiarising themselves with the necessary orientation and implications of marital vows. He said that no day passes without couples coming to court to seek for divorce.Adenaike declared, There is an upsurge in the rate of divorce cases because many couples marry through the back door without adequate planning. Most marriages are contracted without a bride price.What we see now is that a man will just see a woman and impregnate her without knowing her parents, and the next thing you see is that the woman has packed into the mans house.Whenever there is crisis, there will be nobody to intervene, and the next thing they do is to approach the court for divorce.To teach intending couples, therefore, the nitty gritty of marriage and what it entails, it is crucial to lay a solid marital foundation, straighten crooked marriages and let the purpose of God for marriage to love and to cherish, .... till death us do part be established. These are the reasons for starting the School of Marriage Internationala (SOM Intl.). The founder, Paster Abraham Olusanjo Ojekanmi stated.According to him, marriage is like a house with only one entrance and one small window for ventilation, adding that one could not jump out of the window. Once you enter the house, there is no exit, God told me.The 40-year-old Ibadan Indigene said, SOM Intl. is a God ordained institution established at the instance of the Holy Spirit in 2009. It is an off-shoot of the Family Forum Ministry established on 9th September, 2003 and a formal school where the intricacy of marriage is taught from Gods own perspective, using the Bible as the standard, he added.Pastor Ojekanmi, who recollected that his marriage was barely a month old when God gave him the idea of the SOM Intl., said the objectives of the SOM Intl., was to assist couples to live happily together forever by showing them how to operate the marriage through its manual; bring restoration to broken families by educating the divorced, single parents and the separated on how to run the marriage business successfully and help the singles to discover Gods purpose in marriage.A 2001 B.Ed Adult Education/Political Science graduate of the University of Ibadan, Ibadan, Pastor Ojekanmi, said he knows that marriage is dynamic and for different couples different cups of tea. That is why a special course, titledEmerging Issues in Marriage is also part of the three mouths course.The man of God, who noted that people prepare for the wedding ceremony but not the marriage, admonished everybody to attend the school because you should know each others characteristics before marriage. The person you marry determines your happiness, determines how long you will live and your fulfilment in life. Marriage is the pillar that supports all other things. Be careful who you marry!, he warned.Going round the town, the publics opinion differ on the necessity of the school of marriage.Mr Tunde Julius, a choirmaster, told the Nigerian Tribune that marriage is a way of life, it cannot be taught because there is no formula to it. It has no norms. The problems of marriage are situational and they are supposed to be solved as they rear their ugly heads. It cannot be taught as different problems require different solutions.Mrs. C.R. Jayeola and Pastor O. Sulaimon also opined that marriage could not be taught, except the nitty gritty, they both agreed80-year-old Madam Odunola Lawal Oderinlo, however, applauded the idea of having a school of marriage.Going down memory lane, Madam Oderinlo noted that parents, especially mothers, tutored their children and wards in the art of marriage before they got married. They were taught how to behave in their marital homes and not disgrace their parents and family. They actually gave out their children to deserving spouses.Now, reverse is the case. Is it a mother who does not knows when her daughter is getting married that will advise her Now, they elope. Why wont there be marriage dissolutionsIn as much as the School of Marriage is a welcome idea, the lecturers should pray very well, that whatever lessons they impart into their students should be put to use. Children of nowadays leave much to be desired. See how they behave. What cant they do on the streets See their dressing manners! They kiss, hug, caress and do all sorts on the streets as if they are animals.In my younger days, no man will marry a lady who is shameless enough to allow herself to be embraced or kissed on the streets.
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