HOUSE-helps! How much we need them and yet how much we wish we could do without them! Nigerian women have now given them the name Necessary Evil. They are so important to us that we almost find ourselves feeling we can't exist without them.No matter how much we try to feel we don't need them, one thing remains certain: we need them. Men have succeeded in making women have very bad feelings about these house-helps. In fact, women now wish there were another alternative to them. Most women, I have found out, maltreat their maids not because they are cruel and mean, but because of the man. These innocent girls now go through hell in the hands of their madams because of what men do.A little girl is brought from the village to stay with a relation and help out with house chores. Before you know it, the man running all over the girl. He now begins to close early from work just to be able to get home and finish his evil assignment before madam comes in.Men no longer know what shame is. It is unfortunate that the government is not really fighting hard to deal with this issue. The Nigerian police are also making matters worse. When a girl runs to them for safety, all they do is take advantage of the poor girl and make life more miserable for her. I remember coming across a story about a 10-year old girl who was raped to death by a policeman who 'rescued' her from the hands of one of those insane men!A girl I know, at the age of 12, was sent out of the house because she refused to give in to the devilish demands of a man old enough to be her father. This little girl was so tortured and life was made so miserable for her just because she stood her ground! She was afraid to talk to anybody, not even to her elder sister, about her experience, apparently because of her age. It got to a point that the man accused this little of stealing N50,000 from his room and sent her out of the house while she was taking her junior WAEC exam! But, to the glory of God, the girl is happily married today!However, bad as her case was, she is still much luckier than our typical house-helps. Some of these girls die in silence. Having been terribly abused by these animals they live with, many of these girls now live in misery and internal pain. So many of our little house-helps are living with terrible diseases they have no control over. My heart bleeds for the number of little girls going through hell in the hands of their taskmasters. They have nobody to run to. Most of them can't even find their way out of Lagos. These ones cry every night while we are asleep. They roll on their beds every night (if at all they have one to sleep on), asking God why' When are some men going to turn back from their wicked ways'Every now and then, the woman is compelled to change house helps without knowing why. She is so ashamed of herself because neighbours and friends have come to see her as a very wicked woman. And yet, she is not like other real wicked women who won't let their house-helps go to school; she enrolls them in private schools and treat them like her own sisters. Still, after all this, they leave.Madam, truth is, some of these girls are raped and violated right under your roof by the animal you call your husband. I feel bad when women just beat house-helps and kick them out of the house once they see pregnancy. For all you know, your husband could be the father! Recently, I treated a case where the man would not let the little girl rest. Every night, he would enter her room to trouble the poor girl and this made her start having sleepless nights. It got to a point that she started locking her room door at night contrary to her madam's warning. Being a very good girl who was close to her madam, she asked to be paid off and that was when madam knew what was happening.Some women settle for mature ones who are married or in a relationship. It has worked for some, but ruined others. Things don't always work out as planned. She may turn out to become the madam of the house. Your bedroom could be taken over during the day by the new madam.A good number of women have their own stories to tell. Some lady sent me a text telling me how her husband sleeps with her house-help and even buys sanitary pad for her. I have a meeting with this particular lady next week and may tell you more after that.House-helps have been sent to the village and disowned by their parents for getting pregnant in Lagos. So many of them have died in the process of labour. Men, it is better you cry to God for mercy because you can't escape the wrath of God when it comes. A little girl that was sent to you for help and proper upbringing ends up being destroyed because of your inability to control that small thing in between your thighs! Maybe it should be cut off!Some men don't come from the intimidation angle; they try to be nice to the girl, indeed too nice! They try to win the girl over with love. Whenever the woman tries to shout at the girl, they instantly stand against her. You see some of them trying to pacify the girl whenever she is crying. Watch out, they are not just being nice and Godly; there is something going on. A lady who came for counseling told me how she got up one night during Christmas in the village only to find her husband by the toilet door having sex with his mother's house help.Many women have been severally threatened with being sent packing too if a house help leaves the house. So many other women have been beaten and denied things because of a house- help! Every so often, you ask yourself if there is something you are not doing right. But, you have done everything a woman could do to keep her man. You have practically worshipped him and served him so much that people even make mockery of you. You are very attractive and good in bed. Yet, in spite of it all, the house-help is still better! Relax and pray for him because he needs help. The bad side of it is that we don't appreciate counseling in Nigeria because people enjoy covering things up.I lived with a family friend after my SSCE somewhere in the east. This man was a typical example of a wild beast. He couldn't come to me because of the respect he had for my father. But on a daily basis, while his good wife was out there in the gym or market, he would return early from work just to come and mess up with house-helps and sisters-in-law. Some men now work from home just because of that little house-help. Some are now too nice to their wives, sending them on endless trips abroad just so that they can be left alone with the maid. And it makes you wonder what they like in a little girl who cannot even wash her body properly. Anyway, I have found out what they need: serious deliverance that only Dr Olukoya of the MFM can handle! If not the devil inside of him, I don't know what would make a serving Senator, for instance, go for his driver's 13-year old daughter!Some men would pretend they don't like the girl. Every night, they complain and say so many negative things about the house- help that the woman begins to consider sending her away. The next morning she starts threatening the girl with abusive words, reminding her of the gutter she picked her from. But, once leaves for work, the same man goes to console the girl, promising not to let her go. In this situation, the girl who dreads the thought of going back to her miserable and hopeless life, gives in.Months back, my sister-in-law came to my house with a little girl who was living with her friend but was sent back to the village. This girl was sent packing for breaking her oga's head with a broken bottle. The man was constantly disturbing this girl every time the woman went to work. On this fateful day, while the man pushed her against the kitchen wall, she saw an empty groundnut bottle, took it and hit his head. The madam had to send her packing to avoid more serious incidents in the future.Men! Men! Men! Change your ways. You have ruined so many lives through your inability to have control over your ungodly desires. You dress so well and everybody calls you a gentle man without knowing that you are of all men most miserable. If you must sleep with a woman, why not stop destroying those young and innocent lives. Please go to the street and look for your type.That is why I often say to men, 'build your self-esteem.' When your self-esteem is high, you can speak to any woman. This is not to say I support infidelity. But, if you must sleep with another woman, please don't go destroying that little girl.You may be saying today's article is not applicable to you because you are still very single. What about your sister's house-help' In case nobody has told you this, I want you to know there are innocent bloods crying unto God for judgment on you and definitely, there is payback time, no escape. If you don't pay, your generation will pay as it may go on running in your lineage. Please break it now.08033832503Email: amara@amarablessing.com
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