Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!Being a parent is pretty fulfilling if you like giving good advice that gets completely ignored 100 percent of the time. Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 15, 2016 After repeatedly telling my kids to get ready for school, it appears they believe this request is optional. Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 15, 2016 + What's it like being a dad'- Ever watch a 26 minute video of trains going by'+ Is that a metaphor'- Not a metaphor. dadpression (@Dadpression) August 19, 2016 Kid just finished his assigned summer reading. Bursts out of room: "That book had NOTHING to do with killing ANY mockingbirds." Wendi Aarons (@WendiAarons) August 15, 2016 When it's time to get back on a school schedule and your kids don't want to go to bed. pic.twitter.com/Q0ea251cFY The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) August 12, 2016 Hell hath no fury like a 6yo who had to turn his YouTube video off because it was time to eat. Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) August 16, 2016 Parenting means sometimes you ask your child what they're eating and they pull an entire multi-strand beaded necklace out of their mouth. Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) August 13, 2016 Not saying I deserve a gold medal in parenting, but it's 4:47 PM and my 4yo just yelled "FINE THEN, I'M GOING TO BED!" So you be the judge. Lurk @ Home Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) August 18, 2016 When I want my kids to eat something the best chance I have is to put it on MY plate, where apparently food becomes immediately appetizing. Jennifer White (@yenniwhite) August 15, 2016 Parenting is basically asking whether people are wearing clean underwear, and wondering why the electric bill's so high. Paige Kellerman (@PaigeKellerman) August 16, 2016 I've only had two kids for seven months & I already call them by each other's names. It's fine, until 18 they're basically interchangeable. Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) August 16, 2016 Running away after dropping the kids at grandma's house like pic.twitter.com/2gbrgdJsAL Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) August 15, 2016 daughter= bathroom for 42 minutes dad= bathroom finally for 3 minutesdaughter knocking: "hurry up" dadmissions (@Dadmissions) August 15, 2016 Most days I'm thankful for all the joys & adventures of motherhood.Some days I'm just thankful my kids' lunch boxes are washable. Wendy S. (@maughammom) August 17, 2016 Me to my son: You remind me of me.Son: That's just mean. Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) August 16, 2016 "Mom, I want something quick for lunch. Do we have ribs'" ~Son, 9 who thinks food is like magic. The Next Martha (@TheNextMartha) August 16, 2016 Practicing for the first day of school by muttering "we're late," throwing cereal on the floor & making sure every outfit is the wrong one. Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) August 19, 2016 I don't wanna say my 4yo is unfocused but this am instead of brushing his teeth he took off his underpants & slingshot them into the toilet. Toulouse and Tonic (@toulouseNtonic) August 18, 2016 "My hair's not messy. It's on an adventure."- My 9-year-old daughter, officially kicking off her career as my spiritual advisor. Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) August 19, 2016 Not sure if I should be more concerned about the son who locked me out of my bedroom today, or the one who showed me how to pick the lock. Amy Dillon (@amydillon) August 16, 2016 -- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
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