The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ' but succinct ' wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this weeks great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.Sign up for our Funniest Tweets Of The Week newsletter here.Realtor: "So you're looking to buy a home'"Me: "Yes, I'd rather go into debt and ruin my credit than talk to my neighbors in the elevator." Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) May 2, 2017 Olsen twins out here aging like Kellyanne Conway. Taryn Finley (@_TARYNitUP) May 2, 2017 Saw a kid at the airport wearing a Captain America shirt and dragging an R2-D2 suitcase behind him so I was like, step off my style, bro. Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) May 2, 2017 television without writers is just people eating bugs for cash prizes Ziwe (@ziwe) May 2, 2017 I look so tired today that a crow was just hovering near me like "when this one dies I get dibs" Mary-Devon Dupuy (@DevoDupuy) May 2, 2017 *when literally anyone gets mad at me for anything ever* pic.twitter.com/q721pw3KX5 Angela Wheezy (@CarpeAngela) May 2, 2017 I just stirred coffee into my smoothie. How's your Monday going' Lauren DeStefano (@LaurenDeStefano) May 1, 2017 Even though there's no way I could be pregnant it's always good to know I'm not pregnant. Jasmyn Lawson (@JasmynBeKnowing) May 5, 2017 People are always like "eventually you'll want a baby." The closest I've gotten is the other day I really wanted a sandwich. Michelle Wolf (@michelleisawolf) May 5, 2017 in my old age am I realizing that those stretchy, phone cord keychains are to wear your keys as a bracelet when drunk so you don't lose em. Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) May 5, 2017 LOL WHEN THE TWITTER PROMPT IS THE MOST ACCURATE pic.twitter.com/tJGT98naPC Jessica Samakow (@jsam1126) May 4, 2017 INTERVIEWER: can you explain these gaps on your rsum'INTERVIEWEE: o sure, i just hit Return a couple times. it's real easy, i'll show ya. Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) May 3, 2017 In Canada right now, do I just stay here' kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) May 4, 2017 ivanka trump is the rachel dolezal of feminism and should be treated as such. Jessica Blankenship (@blanketboat) May 4, 2017 I've developed a habit of using dollar bills as bookmarks. It sounds like a cool thing to say, but really I just need to buy a bookmark. quinta b. (@quintabrunson) May 1, 2017 is it normal to want to block someones number when their text has more than one typo in it' Whitney Cummings (@WhitneyCummings) May 5, 2017 2016 vs 2017 pic.twitter.com/bbxQdMoLIh Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) May 4, 2017 All this, and Trump's dad is still never going to love him. Chloe Angyal (@ChloeAngyal) May 5, 2017 just moved a pair of black tapered sweatpants from the "lounge pants" to the "proper pants" drawer so that's how my diet's going Amanda Duberman (@AmandaDuberman) May 3, 2017 i tell myself i love salad but mainly i'm here for the salad toppings Jessica Misener (@jessmisener) May 5, 2017 -- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
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