A narcissist at workmay make your day-to-day difficult.In many situations, there isn't much you can do besides work around yournarcissistic coworker.However, if your organization is tolerating a workplace bully or rewarding a narcissist with raises or promotions, you may need to consider finding a new job.The leading piece of advice on getting involved with a narcissist: Don't do it."However, sometimes that is impossible if the narcissist is your boss or coworker,"Dr. Neil J. Lavender, author of "Toxic Coworkers: How to Deal with Dysfunctional People on the Job,"told Business Insider.The most important thing to keep in mind with a narcissistic coworker is that changing them is very difficult, if not impossible, Lavender said. They're going to be focused on getting ahead, displaying their inherent superiority over others, and rejecting all evidence that they're not flawless."There is very little that anyone can do to change a narcissist because that would fundamentally involve them admitting there is a problem, which is a near impossible task,"Dr. Karlyn Borysenko, Principal at Zen Workplace, told Business Insider.While there are cases where a narcissist's behavior necessitates approaching the higher-ups or finding a new job, most narcissist coworkers aren't really threatening. So, focus on keeping your sanity and structuring your behaviors in a way that won't set the narcissist off, thereby making them an even bigger presence in your life.Here are seven signs that you may be dealing with a narcissistic coworkerand how to handle them.SEE ALSO:Everyone's a little bit narcissistic, but 5 traits can give true narcissists awayThey love you in one moment, and hate you in the nextNarcissists see the world in black and white."They will love you at first but if you disappoint them they will hate you," Lavender said."There is no middle-of-the-road."What to do:When they're being kind, enjoy it. But Lavender said it's likely that they're just buttering you up for their own benefit, so watch out.The best tactic is to steer clear of him or her, but that may be unavoidable.If they're going on a tirade about something you or someone else did wrong, re-direct the conversation to the task at hand. Try this line from Harvard Medical School lecturer Dr. Craig Malkin, author of "Rethinking Narcissism":"I'm not sure how this feedback helps us solve the problems and finish the project. What specific changes did you want to make or have in mind' Let's just make them so we can wrap this up."They refuse to talk about anything other than themselvesIf your coworker is constantly gearing the conversation back to themselves, they might be a narcissist."They always want to be surrounded by their 'fans'and love 'holding court,' telling stories while others listen in a state of rapture," Lavender said. "Often these stories center around what they considered to be their 'amazing'accomplishments, usually over exaggerating their achievements."What to do:Understanding that you can't stop your coworker from these flights of fancy, try to change how you think about them instead."Remove the expectation that they are going to behave logically,"Borysenko said."It's not going to happen, and once you detach from that expectation it will help put their behaviors in context."They try to take credit for your ideasHarvard Medical School lecturer Dr. Craig Malkin, author of Rethinking Narcissism,said your narcissist coworker might try to claim credit for your ideas.What to do:While some narcissistic behaviors, like the tendency to glaze over if you talk about anything other than their amazing selves, are simply annoying, this one could damage your success at the workplace. So, you can't just ignore this act.The typical course of actionif someone is stealing your ideas is to approach the coworker and tell them that what they're doing isn't acceptable.In this case, however, Malkin said you should go even further and "meticulously record all your work ...when working with the idea thief so everyone knows where the work came from."That means saving emails in a folder when they display your ideas, or taking notes during meetings so you can record when an idea is your own.See the rest of the story at Business Insider
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