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Nowadays, many people stroll in and out of marriage 'Gloria Bamiloye

Published by Tribune on Sun, 25 May 2014

Popular actress and co-founder, Mount Zion Faith Ministry, Nigeria, Gloria Bamiloye, in this interview with OLUWASEUN RAHEEM, speaks on issues affecting the success of many marriages and why divorce is now prevalent. Excerpts:Of what importance is marriage'Marriage is for companionship, fruitfulness, blessings and enlargement in all life spheres. It's what God ordained.Is marriage a must'Although marriage is meant for everybody, not everyone will marry. An instance of this is what we find among Catholic reverend sisters and fathers serving God at convents. To marry might be necessary, but some people do not in order to focus fully on their God-called ministry. A biblical instance was Apostle Paul who had no wife; he, like others, devoted all their time to serving God and there was no occasion where they messed themselves up. But if you don't have that calling (being led by God) and the grace to stand without falling into the sin of fornication, then it is better to marry than to burn with lust.What basic criterion should a spinster/bachelor meet before marriage'Maturity in the spirit is a vital prerequisite to marriage. Our society today lays much emphasis on age but sometimes, age should not determine when to marry because you might be of age but without any exhibit of spiritual and physical maturity in you. This is why you see some sisters and brothers who intend to marry still behaving like children or teenagers.Why is breakup in marriages prevalent'The way people marry nowadays is like strolling in and out, because they fail to understand what God ordained. God, who initiated marriage, has given us the manual for building our families, but people fail to use it. Many marriages are breaking and have broken because people fail to hearken and abide with the word of God, in entering or building their marital lives.The procedures for building a home is received from His word. It is through this, that the set rules and regulations that bring and sustain the unflinching love in marriage are found. The Bible tells wives to submit to their husbands, no matter the situation. How many wives today, give total submission to their partners, even when they are wrong' The same applies to husbands. Many of them do not love and care for their wives as laid down by God. Summarily, allowing God's love to dwell in our hearts through obedience to his rules will help foster and strengthen love between spouses in building a long-lasting home. Only physical love can never sustain marriage relationship because it is aimed at something ephemeral. Problems will arise in such family.What steps are to be taken before thinking about marriage'It is pertinent for singles to allow God to choose someone suitable for them, whom there will be no regret sharing a future with. This can only be achieved through obedience and prayer; Abraham prayed for his son, Isaac and God provided him with Rebecca. Also, in choosing a man or woman for your lives, let physical attributes be secondary but be expectant from God to direct you.How long should courtship be'I cannot stipulate any range but I will advise that people should not prolong their courtship because you cannot know everything about yourselves until you are married.How does pre-marital sex affect marriage'Sex involves signing a blood covenant with one another and a lot of negative things could be shared in the process. It is not just fun as many people especially youths see it.Sex before marriage affects its growth in various ways; it creates future problems in marriages because the foundation could have been destroyed through the blood you have exchanged and shared with one another. This might be the reason why you see some seeking deliverance all around for their marriages or could even be the reason behind their inability to produce children.Therefore, it is better not to go into it than to face potential problems. For those that obey God's word in keeping themselves undefiled, when such people marry, the grace and blessings attached to obeying God's word will be theirs to carry them through and the boldness and confidence to approach God when storms arise will be there.To avoid pre-marital sex, is romance an alternative in a relationship' The word of God says that when you look at a woman and lust after her, you have already committed sin in your heart. Fornication comes very easy through kissing and all sorts; even in mere hug, because we are humans; all these will drive engaged partners into sex. In all, to avoid sexual sin, it is advisable to flee from romance.Is it advisable to marry a man without any financial resource'It is not necessary a man is employed before you marry him. I think this is one of the wrong impressions and teachings people are exposed to. If the man is the will of God, go ahead and marry him, the job will come. It is crucial ladies see beyond the man they intend marrying.My husband had nothing when I married him because he was into full time ministry. Although he had no physical thing to show but I saw in him the spiritual. I was convinced he was the right man for me. Many people do not even reason with the fact that, even the job we are talking about could be lost after the wedding.Moreover, the job can never be enough to take you throughout your life. It is very important that singles know that, once they marry in the will of God, all other blessings will follow; what you just need to do is to pray and trust him together with your partner for provision. He has never failed. When you see many people that have married like that, you will know God is faithful.Can intending couples visit themselves in their houses'There is nothing wrong there, but we are talking about your future, so there is need to be careful and watchful. If you know going to his/her house will not help because you know your weaknesses, quit visitations. You can meet in an open place like eateries just to avoid sexual sin.What is the significance of sharing individual's past with each other'For a marriage to stand without any problem in the nearest future, it is very important and necessary to be transparent with one another. It is necessary that the foundation of your marriage is not built on falsehood. Many problems that are encountered in marriages are as a result of wrong foundations.What legacy should parents leave for their children'Parents should endeavor to bring up their children in God's own way; he desires godly offspring in order to be able to use them for the establishment of his kingdom. Also, husbands and wives must be united in God, so that love can be shared in the family as a whole. What is your advice to youths on marriage'They should develop an intimate relationship with God so as to know the right person to marry. Not only that, they should learn to wait patiently for God; marriage is not something that should be rushed into. There is more to it because it determines your destiny, so carefulness, watchfulness and obedience to God's word is required.
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