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14 things you're doing that make people instantly dislike you

Published by Business Insider on Thu, 21 Mar 2019


It's not hard to make someone dislike you, whether you're interacting online or in real life.If you share something overly personal too soon or hide your emotions, for example, you may unwittingly repel people.Even the smell of your sweat or a hard-to-pronounce last namethings that are mostly out of your controlcan be a turn-off.Generally speaking, you've only got a few secondsto make someone want to spend more time with you.And in those precious few seconds, everything mattersfromyour last name to the smell of your sweat (unfair and gross, we know).Below, you'll find a list of various scientific findings on the traits and behaviors that make people dislike you, both online and in person.SEE ALSO:16 psychological tricks to make people like you immediatelySharing too many photos on FacebookIf you're the kind of person who shares snapshots of your honeymoon, cousin's graduation, and dog dressed in a Halloween costume all in the same day, you might want to stop.A 2013 discussion paper from researchers at Birmingham Business School suggested that posting too many photos on Facebook could hurt your real-life relationships."This is because people, other than very close friends and relatives, don't seem to relate well to those who constantly share photos of themselves," lead study author David Houghton said in a release.Specifically, friends don't like it when you've got too many photos of family, and relatives don't like it when you've got too many photos of friends.Ben Marder, of the University of Edinburgh, also worked on the study and warned: "Be cautious when sharing and think how it will be perceived by all the others who may see it. Although sharing is a great way to better relationships, it can also damage them."Disclosing something extremely personal early on in a relationshipIn general, people like each other more after they've traded confidences. Self-disclosure is one of the best ways to make friends as an adult.But psychologists saythat disclosing something too intimatesay, that your sister is having an extramarital affairwhile you're still getting to know someone can make you seem insecure and decrease your likability.The key is to get just the right amount of personal. A 2013 study led by Susan Sprecher at Illinois State University suggests that simply sharing details about your hobbies and your favorite childhood memories can make you seem warmer and more likable.Asking someone questions without talking about yourself at allThat same 2013 study found an important caveat to the idea that self-disclosure predicts closeness: It has to be mutual. People generally like you less if you don't reciprocate when they disclose something intimate.In the study, unacquainted participants either engaged in back-and-forth self-disclosure or took turns self-disclosing for 12 minutes each while the other listened. Results showed that participants in the back-and-forth group liked each other significantly more.As the authors write, "Although shy or socially anxious people may ask questions of the other to detract attention from themselves, our research shows that this is not a good strategy for relationship initiation. Both participants in an interaction need to disclose to generate mutual closeness and liking."See the rest of the story at Business Insider
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