Three Kinds Of Pastors

THERE are three kinds of pastors: the long-winded, short-winded and mid-winded. The long-winded pastor gets behind the pulpit, opens the Bible, announces a title and begins to speak. Forty-five minutes into his delivery, he stops, surveys the congregation and says, 'I am trying to lay a foundation'. Meanwhile, some among the congregation have begun yawning.Two and half-hours into the 'actual' sermon, he says, 'Finally, let us read from the book of '' Trouble is, he has said that six times during the past 30 minutes. And given the way the 'anointing' is flowing, nothing indicates the curtains would be drawn any sooner.The mid-winded preacher likes to dish out the word, just in time to keep the congregation (apology to the Yoruba) from 'sleeping on top of the sermon'. He wants the baby fed but without regurgitation. Minutes before weary elders and deacons begin to 'nod the nod of slumber' or babies whimper simultaneously, and mothers 'excuse' themselves to 'feed' them, he says a final 'finally'.The short-winded pastor probably had a phobia for long sermons during his days as a 'floor member'. It might also be that he lives in Ikorodu and pastors a congregation in Apapa (Some Lagosians are smiling.) Nobody sleeps and his members' hallelujahs are lively and crispy. More often than not, you'd find he is from somewhere in the western part of the country. (Did I hear you say crucify him!)Till next week.
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