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An influencer and model said she isn't doing a gender reveal because 'that may not be who my child decides to be

Published by Business Insider on Sat, 14 Dec 2019


Model Iskra Lawrence wrote to her Instagramfollowers that she will not be having a gender reveal party for her child."Though right now I know what gender the professionals have announced, that may not be who my child decides to be and it doesn't feel right to make a big deal about something so personal to them," Lawrence wrote.Lawrence is a part of the new wave of social media influencers who are using their pregnancies to turn a profit by documenting them publicly.As transgender and non-binary people become more visible, more people and parents are questioning whether gender-reveal parties have a place. Visit Insider's homepage for more.Iskra Lawrence, an Instagram influencer and model, posted a picture on Instagram with a caption explaining why she will not be having a gender reveal party for her child.Lawrence said she took issue with the idea of a gender reveal party because knowing what gender a child is assigned at birth does not necessarily accurately reflect what gender that child will identify as later in life."Though right now I know what gender the professionals have announced, that may not be who my child decides to be and it doesn't feel right to make a big deal about something so personal to them," Lawrence wrote. 'I am really struggling... . thought I'd feel so ready to do a gender reveal. I was already indecisive about whether I wanted to know, and I'm so happy we did and we shared the moment with my dad and mom on FaceTime our close friends on thanksgiving and then yesterday with my english family. But that's it, I haven't been able to just text anyone the 'news' and certainly don't feel like I can tell the world. I've always been so so vulnerable online sharing about my past BD, ED talked about mental health and shared so so much but this isn't about me. I might be carrying baby P and until now it's been about my pregnancy experience but this is their life and even though right now I know what gender the professionals have announced that may not be who my child decides to be and it doesn't feel right to make a big deal about something so personal to them. So Yup I'm gonna be a party pooper because I never want my child turning around and saying why did you decide to share my life online or make it seem like a public service announcement. And of course I support all my loved ones and peers who have gone and shared with the world I just can't. But that doesn't mean I won't be sharing about my experience on this journey and into motherhood and just like these unretouched pics I want to be real raw with you all and make lots more videos. I appreciate all your support and love so so much'' Thank you to @ashleyjophoto and the whole team for this magical shoot I'll treasure forever' @mollyfredenberg @jonmichaelhall @rywilliams.co @Zoe_sheehy @Lindsaychapinphoto and yes my undie set is' @aerie #aeriereal I'm now a size XL and you can screenshot this image and use the @liketoknow.it app http://liketk.it/2I2ip #liketkit #LTKbump #22weeks #preggo #pregnancydiary #babybelly #nophotoshop A post shared by Iskra ' (@iskra) on Dec 11, 2019 at 9:00am PSTon Dec 11, 2019 at 9:00am PST While her close family and friends know what gender doctors have assigned the child, she does not plan on disclosing that to her 4.5 million Instagram followers.Lawrence has been publicly documenting her pregnancy since announcing she and husband Philip Payne were expecting their first child. She is part of a new group of social media influencers who are using their pregnancies to make money through brand deals and company sponsorships.But unlike many other expecting influencers who opt for elaborate ways of revealing their baby's assigned gender, Lawrence has opted out of the traditional gender reveal party entirely ' and she isn't alone, at least among non-fluencers.More new parents are questioning the need for gender reveal parties as transgender and non-binary people are reaching new levels of visibility in the mainstream, and the idea of assigning gender at birth is being challenged.More parents are challenging the idea of gender reveal partiesGender reveal parties have been a popular tradition for expecting parents for over a decade, after being coined in 2008 by blogger Jenna Karvunidis, according to The New Yorker.From cakes that ooze with pink or blue filling once expecting parents cut into them to white balloons filled with colored confetti, gender reveals have developed into a culture of their own ' with entire listicals in parenting publications dedicated to creative ideas for them.But the popular understanding of gender has rapidly evolved over the last decade and the idea that parents can tell what gender their baby is based on their genitalia doesn't hold up.More children are identifying as genders other than the one they were assigned at birth. A recent Pew Research survey found that one-third of teens and people in their early 20s know someone who uses gender-neutral pronouns, and this number is likely to grow. Merriam Webster even made "they" the word of 2019 since its use as a singular, gender-neutral pronoun has grown so rapidly.And, the largest study of transgender children ever conducted found that transgender children firmly identity with their gender identity in the same way cisgender children do, regardless of the age they came out as transgender.The growing number of people identifying with genders they weren't assigned at birth by a doctor calls into question if there is even a place for gender reveal parties in modern parenting. Karvunidis herself said that she regretted creating the concept after reflecting on its possible negative impact."I started to realize that nonbinary people and trans people were feeling affected by this, and I started to feel bad that I had released something bad into the world," Karvunidis told the New Yorker.But as Lawrence and celebrities like actress Gabrielle Union continue to advocate for parenting practices that give their children the space to understand their own gender identity rather than imposing what was assigned at birth, that "something bad" may dissipate.Read more:5 ways to support transgender men and non-binary people during pregnancyTransgender kids aren't just 'going through a phase' and develop like their non-trans peers, researchers sayMerriam-Webster named 'they' word of the year because of the rise in people openly identifying as non-binaryJoin the conversation about this storyNOW WATCH: A 45-year-long study discovered trends in successful hyper-intelligent children
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