Congratulations dear readers; we have now been acquainted for four weeks. This calls for a celebration and whilst we get out the party hats and poppers, I feel like it is the perfect time to let you know a bit more about the character behind the column.Let's start with the fact that I am currently living in Moscow. Yes, if you were not previously aware, I am based in England but will be residing in Russia for a whole year. I have been here for more than two months now and have made several observations on the place I will be calling home for the next few months. As a beautiful one month anniversary, I have gone through the efforts of compiling a shortlist of the most useful lessons I believe that anyone travelling to Moscow simply must know:Lesson No1: Russians are very suspiciousA lesson you will learn before you even step foot into the country. I got my very first taste of this at Customs where I was greeted by an extremely stern looking lady who insisted on checking my passport picture at least seven times before letting me proceed. I soon came to the conclusion it was probably due to the fact that I cracked a smile when I saw her (lesson 5 tells you exactly why you should never do this).Other encounters of this Russian suspicion include having to place my handbag in a clear plastic packet whilst I did my shopping in a supermarket and also having to show my passport in order to purchase a pay-as-you-go sim card for my mobile phone. Part of me still thinks they make the rules up as they go along, especially for unsuspecting foreigners like me who would be willing to touch their noses five times just so they can enter a restaurant if told to.Lesson No2: Russian car lanes are big, very bigI was actually taken aback by the vast majority of cars I saw piled on the road as I walked along the street to my new flat. However, after visiting other places, I have come to realise that fitting as many car lanes as possible on one road is something Russians take great pride in. This is a grand sight to behold during rush hour but not so practical for crossing over, especially when the green light only gives pedestrians a countdown of 20 seconds to cross the road. After this, Russian 4x4's (they like their big cars over here) are allowed to roar their whopping, great engines again, whether you have made it to the other side yet or not. .Lesson No 3: Russian metro stations are beautifulIf I say the word 'station' to you, I'm pretty sure the thoughts of a bland, industrially designed building would spring to mind. This is probably because you have not experienced catching the metro in Moscow . I nearly swallowed my tongue when I saw chandeliers hanging from the ceiling of my station. Complete with murals, grand statues and golden pillars, one would assume you are about to enter a swanky five-star hotel rather than merely catching a five-minute metro to your place of work.Lesson No 4: Russian women will wear heels everywhereI am in slight awe of all the female troopers I have seen parading the streets in their sky-scraper high 'tooflee' (shoes). It must not be easy wearing those when they work as teachers, waiters, shop assistants, policewomen; the list goes on. Perhaps someone somewhere is holding a competition to see who can wear the highest. Whatever it is, I am intrigued to see whether this fad will continue during the winter time when it snows heavily. Lesson No 5: Never smile at Russian officialsThis includes the police, the militia (the Russian civilian police), airport workers and security guards. Take my advice on this one; unless you want a whole lot of hassle, it's really not worth the risk. That concludes our school of all things Russian. If you have any more questions on the country then I would love to hear from you but in the mean time readers, happy anniversary!
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