MARRIAGE - The big question. I have always had just one question and it is this ' Why do guys run away from commitments and ladies 'run' into commitments'It is amazing. God created men and women as two opposite beings - in thoughts, actions, emotions and every other aspect.Many females say it is hard enough to get a guy to express his feelings and show that he cares. The days of playing 'hard to get' are fasting fading. The reasons vary with various mentalities but the most acceptable is that the male folk seem to be reducing (reducing to where') and so the Bible prophecy of seven women clinging to one man is becoming real. Because of this (guy's difficulty in expressing love) many ladies are 'trapped' in loveless relationships, as per 'half bread is better than none', abi'The issue of tagging along with a partner that isn't ready to commit is an everyday thing but there is something in the idea that 'what is yours will come to you - no matter how far you run from it - and what is not yours would never be yours, even if you tie yourself to it! There was this beautiful lady I used to know. She came from an average family with like 10 children. Although I was in primary school, I knew she was an 'aristo'. Of course, I didn't know the word then but it was obvious she dated rich married men. Meanwhile, there was a young graduate who happened to be her classmate at the university who was crazy in love with this girl. But he was struggling. He even tried then because he hustled and bought a motorcycle. He would come and see her dressed with clean but old, worn-out clothes. Finally, he moved on with his life when she didn't succumb to his wooing. After travelling round the world with all her numerous boyfriends, she 'cooled down' and repented. She ran into this 'poor guy' one day and he was still trying to make ends meet. They started dating... Bottom line' They are happily married today and God has really blessed them.Some nice friends of mine (guys) have managed to explain why they run from commitments even if they have deep feelings for the lady. From all indications, the most popular reason stems from the maxim: Variety is the spice of life. One edition of' Nite of a thousand laugh', a comedian said "Marriage is like having DSTV and watching only Channel O'. And that is the summary. It is a known fact - even in churches, it is said that marriage is life imprisonment - only this time, it is a good one. Well, that is when you make the right decisions. The financial status also plays a major role in determining when a guy would commit. Top secret - modern girls don't struggle with men anymore. My mum struggled with my father and they all did it in their time but this 21st century, it's not so anymore. I don't mean all ladies now are materialistic; after all, not everybody is looking for a ready-made man but the world is changing and the female folk now make their own money; so why would a young woman want to suffer because she now has 'Mrs' attached to her name' There is no denying the truth that if you (a man) does not have money, your wife will never respect you. I am talking as a young woman, and yes, God-fearing too. Sentiments apart. We currently live in world where money talks. The hand that feeds you is the hand that you would control you. It is like, a child doesn't misbehave because of the hand that feeds it. Kids have to dance to the tunes of their parents. It is like that with marriage too. I know one small girl of 21 that married a 24 year old because her parents tried to marry her off. Husband and wife are in the palm of both parents because they (the parents) still do everything for them. Whenever you contemplate marriage, you should contemplate paying bills and being on your own", says Caribbean youth pastor, Dave Burrow.Past experiences may also influence guys running away from marriage. My uncle was engaged to a lovely lady from my village. Wedding dress made, food stuff bought, wedding invitations sent out and just 10 days to the wedding day, a message came through our in-law-to-be - the lady realized she was having cold feet 'so she's sorry that she can't marry my uncle', blah blah. I was like eight but I knew uncle was devastated ' that's an understatement. He attempted marriage five years after that and it didn't work out. That one was his fault because he hadn't gotten over the trauma of his marriage-that-never-was. He immediately withdrew from the whole family. Years ago, he remarried and relocated to another city. He is doing pretty well for himself.I can't support the heart-ache guys put ladies through by not committing but the reasons are clear. Sometimes, these relationships start out as just fun but at the end, time has passed and the lady is practically wasted and it ends in pain.
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