EVERYBODY is aware of their mysterious existence. No one seems, though, tohave an iota of inkling of their physical identities. All social critics and public commentators are dead sure they are somewhere there in space. Academic, religious and political leaders speak of them with certainty. The National Assembly leadership has no doubt about their reality and trailing demonic activities. They are known to bestride the landscape like a colossus, holding the nation by the jugular.Even President Goodluck Jonathan, the most powerful man in the land, is aware of their mystical domineering presence in the polity, but has no idea of who, in persons, they are. Neither their home nor camp is public knowledge or could be spoken of publicly without dire consequences. They are not only invincible and untouchable, but are in fact invisible. They have only one profession, mission and commission: to make sure nothing works in Nigeria , a land blessed, and perhaps over-blessed, with enviable human and natural resources. They are Nigeria's invisible, yet devilish and fearsome identical twin brothers ' Cabal and Cartel.The all-conquering exploits of the free-operating duo remind me of a horror film I watched at Oduduwa Hall one frightful evening in 1982, my second year at the Obafemi Awolowo University . The title character, King Kong, was a monster so massive in frame it would place the biggest man in the Guinness Book of World Records on just one obscure corner of its palm. From its squatting position, it would intercept a Boeing 727 cruising at top speed in the skies with its fist and shatter it into pieces. With its intimidating arm, it would grab the mightiest building in town and squeeze it into dust.The fearsome monster trampled on cars and human beings the way Mighty Igor would trample on a colony of ants. King Kong could not be captured or ambushed, neither could it be arrested nor captured. The crushing acts of the mighty terror kept me awake all night wondering what a society would be like if it was unleashed on the people.But KK had a physical identity. And that is where it is no match for both Cabal and Cartel. The identical twin brothers are spirits, existing only in space. Just as we appreciate ghost workers and ghost pensioners, we celebrate Cabal and Cartel as ghost monsters and saboteurs.The name of the sins of Cabal and Cartel is legion, for they are many. Everyone, today, blames innocent General Ibrahim Babangida for annulling the result of the landmark June 12, 1993 presidential election, but the heinous political crime was actually conceived, planned, programmed and executed by Cabal and Cartel. The poor retired general was only an unwilling but helpless tool within the crushing fists of the invisible twin monsters.Former President Olusegun Obasanjo laboured hard to educate Nigerians on how and why the rosy future of the country depended on privatisation. Unfortunately, the planning, programming and realisation of the project, including its gains and benefits, were cornered, appropriated and misappropriated by Cabal and Cartel. The mind-boggling revelations oozing from the recent Senate probe of the programme conclusively confirmed it.The award-winning tragicomedy that was the management of late President Umaru Yar'Adua's illness was vintage Cabal and Cartel at their ingenious best. For months, that seemed like years, Nigerians did not know for sure the whereabouts or true state of health of their president. As the concluding show of might, C 'n' C, that is Commander-in-Chief, sorry, I mean Cabal and Cartel, commanded security chiefs to organise water-tight security, bullied PHCN lords to do what they were wont to do best ' ensuring a regime of blackout, harassed airport captains into submission and smuggled the dying president of the Giant of Africa into his Villa in the dead of night.But you ain't seen nothing yet. The hundreds of billions of naira and dollars sunk, over the years, into the project of fixing the nation's oil refineries miraculously disappeared into thin air. Today, neither the refineries nor the staggering amounts in sovereign wealth are alive; they have been slaughtered by Cabal and Cartel. Our responsive and people-loving governments came to our rescue with fuel subsidy. But alas, Cabal and Cartel again cornered the billions and trillions, leaving the government with no option but to hold back the funds and multiply the sorrow of its hapless people.Almost all Nigerians know everything about Cabal and Cartel but yet know nothing. Everything is known about their evil deeds and nothing about their identities. This is perhaps because they bear no family names (they are simply Cabal and Cartel), have no birth certificates, carry no national ID cards and driver's licences, use no registered phone lines and run no traceable NUBAN bank accounts. One thing that is sure however, is that, judging by their activities and the arrogance they exude, they can only belong to the much-talked-about one per cent of the population sitting on 99 per cent of the resources.Another thing that is now certain is Nigeria will know peace, justice, progress, development and realise her full potentials only when Cabal and Cartel are identified, ambushed, captured and silenced. And so the impoverished 99 per cent of the teeming 150 million-strong population need to act. I suggest a contribution of N10.00 each which will amount to N1.485 billion. However worthless the naira may be, this is good enough a carrot for militant groups to blink at if offered as ransom for the capture of Cabal and Cartel. Al-Queda, Al-Shabab, Boko Haram and other such cabals and cartels could take this up as service to humanity rather than engage in mindless destruction of innocent human souls. Neighbours! Cabal and Cartel are coming! Cabal and Cartel are coming! Ah ah, why is everybody fleeing in different directions now' And I was only kidding o. Do I know Cabal and Cartel myself' Cowards! That's who we all are.'Akinola, can be reached via del.prof@writing.com
Click here to read full news..
