Gabriel Oyediji is the founder of Compassionate Home and Orphanage, Lagos. He is also the National President of the Association of Homes and Orphanages (ASHON). In this interview with Yetunde Oladeinde, he talked about losing his father before he was born, helping to raise fatherless children, challenges and the new craze of child abduction.Why did you decide to run an orphanage'It is a vow I made with God, that if he brought me up, I would also bring up other children. I grew up as part orphan. My dad passed away before I was born. So, I didnt experience the love of a father in my life.What are your memories of growing up'It was traumatic in many ways. There is the cultural perspective. There is this belief in Yorubaland that if your father or mother died before you were born, you are Babarinisa or Iyarinsa. Sometimes, some parents see you as a bad child who brought adversity, so, you are alienated and abandoned. There are spoken and silent hostilities against you. I have seen some children abandoned in homes because the father felt that the child took away his wifethe woman died during labour. So, that made my own very traumatic and the survival pattern was hellish. It was in the period of that hellish trauma that I said if God could bail me out, then I would give whatever I have for the survival of orphans. I also stand as the father of the fatherless children. That was my promise and when the time came I was reminded.My number two prompting was that we started with a homeless community. Along the line, we saw a community of children who were stranded under the bridges. In 2004, I did a Childrens Day party for about 400 children at Ijora Seven Up. After the party, they all went away. So, I started wondering what we had impacted in just one day and started thinking of having a home for them to give them proper care.For how long have you been into this'I started in 2002. It was tough; we were buying rice in cups to feed them. We started with about 30 children; there were days that were very bad but because I told God that I was not going to go cap-in-hand begging to feed them, God intervened before it got worse.How did you ensure the survival of the home'I started a church and they supported. Also, the cost of educating them was high and becoming a big challenge, as they were always being chased out; so, I started a school here. That way, I didnt have to pay school fees.What are the other challenges'The biggest challenge is funding. Aside that is the challenge of government making too much demand on us, even when they are not supporting. I have not seen any economic sense where you study supply and exclude demand. Government does not supply anything, yet they demand everything. They do not give us value of partnership. Then you have so much bias and distrust. They look at home operators as criminals and you get one-way stories about child crimes and manipulations. That is very wrong motive. Then there is also the challenge of aging out children who are above 18 years. Where would they now go'Sometimes, they say that you cannot keep them in the home because they are no longer children. Where do you take them' Would a child live with you for 12-15 years and you now throw the child out'Thats a big challenge actually; so, what do you do with them'I take them to court to swear affidavit that they want to stay here by their own volition, pending when they would find their way in life. They are aware that they are matured at the age of 18 and it is a decision for both of us. I am playing a father figure in their lives until they find their level in life. We have six of them in universities; six of them graduated this year. We also have 30 in boarding school and we have some people who volunteered to sponsor them.Can you share some of your memorable experiences on this mission'I think the most memorable occasion that I can remember is when we eventually got approval to operate. It was traumatic, difficult with unnecessary bureaucracy. The second was when we had issues with somebody using influence to take a child from here and the government did not listen to us. We knew the couple; they were our neighbour and were brutes. We knew how they stripped their house-girl naked; so, I said this people could not have this child. I had to get a lawyer and we were at it for about two years. The day they ruled that they cannot take the child and that the child should go back to our home remains memorable.How has doing this affected your personality'I feel fulfilled. I am happy when I see them making progress, moving forward, graduating and attaining their dreams. Life would have been miserable for me, if I wasnt doing this.Lets talk about our culture and adoption'There have been incidences where they declared adoption and the child was rejected. In order to protect the emotional status of that child, we have to be careful not to traumatise them.There was the case of a woman celebrating her 80th birthday. She brought all her children and grandchildren together, even those living abroad. A particular daughter was adopted and when they were taking pictures, one of them asked her to step back because, You are adopted. It was a shock to her, as she was hearing that for the first time.We have close adoption and open adoption. Close is good for the purpose of protecting the child. But now, government says that it should be open. Also the process of adoption of children in homes is of great concern. It is cumbersome and many are losing them to abductors. Government must do something fast about it.How would you describe the current spate of abduction of children in the country'Kidnapping is a new cancer that is traumatising the Nigerian child.Of the cardinal provisions of the 1999 Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, as amended, one stands out. And that all-important provision states that the primary purpose of government is the security of life and property. Without any fear of contradiction, the welfare, development and protection of the Nigerian child is pivotal to this all-important provision.However, it is sad to note that the Nigerian child has never been so vulnerable and insecure in the history of our great nation.Not only is he orphaned when his parents are kidnapped (for ransom), attacked and killed by career criminals, he has now become the primary target of these blood-baying criminals. When in April 2014, 276 students of Government Science Secondary School, Chibok, Borno State, were kidnapped by Boko Haram, the world was horrified, and warned that it must never happen again. But it has since happened in Dapchi, Kankara, Kagara and recently Jingebe in Niger State.That is why we are using this medium to appeal to President Muhammadu Buhari, the state governors, as well as all the countrys security agencies to wake up and save Nigerian children. They are our future and they must be protected by all means, at all times.As if the aforementioned were not terrible enough, kidnappers have now included orphanages and homes in their checklist of terror. They now raid orphanages and abduct children for ransom. This is a new cancer, a horrible phenomenon threatening the future of Nigerian orphans. If orphanages are now being targeted and, therefore, made unsafe, then where else is safe
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