Dear readers,Todays writer is in a fix. Something happened in her past and she has carried the guilt for a long time. She can no longer keep it to herself. Unfortunately, hers is not a story that could be told in public.Please, read and follow her story.Thanks, Monica Taiwo.Dear Taiwo,I give you kudos for what the Lord is using you to do in peoples lives. I have been out of the country for over eight years and I came back recently and met a friend of mine who had her problem solved through this column.Although, our problems might not be the same, I will plead with you to help publish my story so that I can also get help. This would also act as an avenue for me to unburden my guilt. I need a listening ear, but I do not have the guts to come out and tell anybody the truth about what I did some 14 years ago.It was something that brought me so much joy and relief, but at the expense of my peace of mind, I need to purge my heart of this guilt. I shouldnt preempt your readers reaction. Most of them would think I am the most mean woman on earth, I wouldnt mind, whatever their responses and reactions are because I have thought of worst things about myself.Fate indeed, can be cruel, I plead that I should be judged in context and anyone in my shoes could have done what I did. As a young girl who married the only, and the first love of her life as a virgin, my expectation as a young wife was high.Like every other woman, I believed that I would have no problems in bringing the fruits of my marriage to the world, especially because there was no history of barrenness in my family or of my husbands.My mother of blessed memory knew I married as a virgin, she was the first who started asking God the first series of questions. My husband too was also worried because according to him, I gave him the most valued gift he has ever had - my virginity on our wedding night. So why would the devil play a very expensive trick on us and our happinessWe believe in the Lord and prayed hard. I knew God would visit me at His own time. Although, at times my faith was shaken, but I never had the intentions of leaving His presence or doing otherwise. Moreso, after all the tests my husband and I ran showed that we both could give birth to children without problems.This, however, wasnt the impression of my mother-in-law. Maybe I could understand her from the premise she came from. My husband, is her first child and her only son.Of course, every mother, would be eager to see the fruit of such a child, but she wasnt patient enough or maybe I should say she did not do a thorough home work to find out who really had a problem between the two of us. If she did, probably, she would have been able to uncover my husbands deceit and help to look for a solution, instead of pushing me into the hands of another man which has led me to a situation where I have to carry this burden on my thin shoulder till now.My husband and I were married for 10 years before I fell into this temptation. These 10 years were the most difficult years of my life. My mother-in-law started asking questions about a year after our marriage, but we continually pacify her to be patient. When the first year ran into the second, and until the fifth year when his other siblings who got married after us began to have children, she became troublesome.She was coming to the house to call me different names. At a time, she insisted that my husband should take another wife if I was incapable of giving her the desired grand children. My husbands refusal infuriated her, and she concluded that I must have charmed him. Then, I believed that my husbands refusal was as a result of the love he had for me, I never knew it was because if he had done so then, he still wouldnt have been asked to have children, a fact that I stumbled on few years ago after several years of marriage.My journey into the abyss of dont talk-about- it started on a fateful evening when I returned home from work and met my mother-in-law at home. The moment I saw her, I knew peace had been murdered. I greeted her cheerfully, but she returned my greetings with every terrible curse you couldnt think of. She asked me to move out of her sons house or die.(To be continued next week)
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