SOCIAL Etiquette is a life skill every individual needs to acquire since 'no man is an island' (John Donne). If each and every man is a social animal, albeit by varying degrees, it therefore follows that it is necessary to acquire the skills that enhance communication, order and convenience in interpersonal interactions.Etiquette in simple terms can be understood as respect and consideration for others. The rules that govern social etiquette are deference and civility. Generally speaking, everyone wants to be respected regardless of whether they have earned it or not. On the other hand, people are desperately in love with themselves and will be naturally endeared towards whomsoever appears to cherish them. People do not just want to be loved but they want to be cherished too. Equally, people do not just want to be treated fairly, they want to be respected. Armed with this universal truth, it is easier to judge one's actions, words or attitudes towards both familiar faces and strange ones.Personal Presentation and Interpersonal InteractionsIt does matter how you present yourself because people respond according to what they perceive of you through any of their senses; sight, smell, touch, etc. There are aspects of personal presentation that are universally true. For example, a smile that reaches the eyes and an open gesture always suggest a pleasant disposition; a clean, pleasant smell that is not overpowering is soothing; a neat, attractive attire is admirable and respected; a civil and distinct tone is inviting; a warm and firm handshake is welcoming, etc.It does matter how you look, sound, smell or feel; it says everything about you: how you expect to be received and treated, what sort of relationship you have chosen to have with the recipient of your gestures, and if others would want to be identified with you.First Impressions MatterMake Eye contact ' Making eye contact shows that you have, first of all, acknowledged a person's presence and secondly that the person now holds your undivided attention.Smile strategically ' This means that you don't approach someone from far off with a smile plastered on your face. It would only seem like you're grudgingly, trying to please and not that you are being sincerely friendly. On seeing a person, let a smile creep into your face.Stand Up To Greet ' If you're going to welcome someone you should do so graciouslyShake Hands With Sincerity ' Learn to do so with ease. It should be firm, warm and brief.Use Names ' People's names are important to them, and it is an added advantage when you mention their name now and then in conversation. The personal attention will be appreciated.Show Enthusiasm While Greeting ' You too would like to know that your presence brings a cheerful vibe.Be Gracious ' Think of it this way, how will you honor a guest in your home' Be gracious.The signature or stamp of a well-bred man or woman, a highly cultivated personality, is one who is so self-controlled that he or she isn't moved by circumstances or varying moods but is consistently civil, respectful and yet approachable. Acts of civility do not so much flatter your recipients as much as they win their respect.Acts Of Deference And Civility Towards OthersUse Honorifics: Mr. Ms. Mrs. Ma'am, Sir, Dr. Rev. etc. Honorifics are symbols of a person's identify, status or accomplishment and it is generally appreciated when they are recognized.Greet Generously: Extend greetings to those of higher and lower status than you perceive yourself to be. Graciousness blesses the giver more than it does the receiver.Graciousness In Speech: Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot' (Clearance Thomas). 'Please' and 'Thank you' go a long way much more than a lot of people realize. Do apologize when you step on anyone's toes, literally or figuratively.Kindness: Do go the extra mile to be kind and generous to people; hold a door open, let his or her car into your lane, offer a genuine smile and 'thank you', help lighten someone's burden, etc. Kindness attracts goodwill.Remember, 'Manners maketh Man' (William of Wykeham).Image and Etiquette addresses general perceptions, societal norms and expectations and personal expressions with the goal to cultivate social graces, suavity and a dignified presence for interpersonal relationships. If you have questions on Image and Etiquette please send them toaskpamela@regalgraces.com or 0812-414-8725. Pamela also covers Workshops and Keynote speeches on Corporate Image and Etiquette
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