Ola, look for people who your husband can listen to and raise the matter with them. I think he needs counseling. Are you a Christian' If you are, then, bring your husband's attitude to your pastor's notice, he can also help.Your husband attached so much importance and value to his relations more than he does his nuclear family; to me this is very unfortunate. Your sister- in-law is corrupt and has an ulterior motive.Your mother -in-law also has an axe to grind with you. Bring this problem before God in prayers, He will surely take care of it. Clay Ola, confronting your sister-in-law was a mistake, you should have learnt from your past experience. Do you expect your sister-in-law to fold her arms and blazingly accept her misdeed' I think you should have left the whole issue until your husband arrived home I am optimistic that your husband will come to his senses sooner or later. In the meantime, get your son to see a psychologist. Kehinde AJ I believe from your narration that you are a Yoruba woman. The Yoruba say you don't rush to a raging ocean. You knew you had issues with your mother-in-law and others generally. Your boy (Eyitayo) told you something as complex as what you said, then, you should have waited for your husband to return and then ask your son to narrate what happened in his presence.No family would easily agree to such an abominable issue without a fight. Your mother-in-law and husband realised the incalculable damage this would have on their heritage, hence, his reaction. Hope other women would learn from your mistake which turned an otherwise straight forward case in your favour and that of your son to your disadvantage because of the way you went about it.You should have waited for your husband and let his son tell him what his aunt did to him and wait for his reactions before doing anything. Please, get in touch with your family, spiritual heads along with your husband's family head and explain what transpired. While doing this, pray and fast that God should touch your husband's heart to see what his actions and inactions are causing his own son and the future damage this could have on him. As for the auntie and the mother-in-law, pray that God should deliever you and your son from the wickedness done to the poor boy. AjadimoEvil shall not abound. You will get out of this as you desire an unbreakable home; God will intervene on your behalf. I want you to see your husband's attitude as something that is not ordinary. All you need do is cuddle your kids, make them feel at home as much as you can, don't spread hatred so that it does not affect their academics and more importantly, hold unto God. No doubt this is a trying period for you, but the battle is for God I am very sure you cannot fight it yourself unless you follow the dark road which always has a painful end. Just pray and let Jesus do the fight. it might not be easy, but God will strengthen you. Bright Please, some other time, you need to exercise patience and you cannot handle a matter like this by yourself. You ought to know that some forces are at work in which you have to wage war against. Please, go and consult a real man of God who can help in prayer so that the good Lord will fight your battle and listen to your case. Kindly go to the Lord in prayer. Nike '''This is a sad story and I think you are the cause of your present predicament. You lacked the wisdom of a Christian, educated and also a married woman. How can you take judgment in your own hands when you have a living husband' Your attitude displays that you have no respect for your husband. Under no circumstance must you fight or engage in a fracas in the absence of your husband no matter how aggrieved you were. Also, how dare you also narrate such a sensitive issue to your househelp' What kind of a woman are you that you cannot be patient until the man of the house comes back' How dare you called your husband at work because of a domestic issue' What if in the process of rushing home he gets crashed' You can see the outcome of your action which has resulted to you having to pack out of the house with your children. You only need to seek the wisdom of any known member of your husband's family who you are closer to help talk to him or also if you have a man of God whom you and your husband are closer to, who is aware of your situation to intercede for you. You equally need God's assistance by praying that your husband comes to his senses because his attitude by throwing you and your children out of his house is to equally demonstrate that he is equally not a man and needs counselling. How dare he send his biological children out of his house because of his family' In fact the two of you lack wisdom and need to go through marriage counselling. He is allowing his parents to destroy his house. Also, you need scolding because it appears you lack respect for your husband and also egoistic in nature. You must be submissive to him and equally learn to be patient in everything you come across in life and never discuss your home with your housemaids anytime. Andy AndersonNigerian advice columns are mad, funny. Why do you all follow the same path... it is like regardless of the situation, every response to a post will follow the same tone... 'Give your life to God, are you a Christian, leave your problems bla bla bla bla..... Now I am in no way undermining the importance of the almighty God, but you guys take it too far... a story can say I have a headache, Pray to God.... I sneezed.... give your life to God.... Can we try being practical sometimes' All of you crucifying this poor woman saying it is all her fault because she didn't wait on her husband to come home are hypocrites. If you are a mother and your 10- year -old son comes to you with a similar report what would your first reaction be to open up your Bible and start praying... Give me a freaking break.... It is called being human. Recently, a father walked in on someone molesting his daughter in Texas, he beat the dude to death on the spot...... I would have done the same thing. No one is perfect, so you guys need to chill... but If any of you here giving advice to this lady and crucifying her because you have never done anything out of rage and your life is so perfect since you fast and pray coupled with sessions with spiritual leaders, then I say this to you... you are not human but a programmed machine. MecMenOla, I do not want to join the league that has condemned you for not waiting until your husband was back because you just did what every other woman would have done in this circumstance. My only worry here is if you have told us the whole truth. The deeds have been done all that is needed now is solution. I know that your husband has been brainwashed especially by his mother but he must surely come to terms with the reality. You did not tell us if your husband sent you and your kids away or you decided to stay away because of the problem. If he did, look for someone he respects and ask him to intervene. But if you did, go back and apologise for doing this while you leave the rest of the matter to the family members to decide since it has to do with incest which no tradition permits. Meanwhile, try to get your son to put this behind him as continuous dragging of the issue is definitely going to cause him more psychological effects. When this matter is finally settled, leave your sister- in-law to take care of herself since she is living in a separate apartment. Make up with your husband because I know that by now the facts must have started dawning on him. Good luck. UzomaReactions: www.tribune.com.ng
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