Taiwo Olanrewaju was at the annual Breakthrough for Singles' Summit held by the Family Booster Ministries at the National Stadium, Lagos, last Sunday.'It is the devil's handiwork, the devil tempted me' and such other phrases are often heard in law courts, especially in divorce suits. A marriage counsellor has however noted that it is not the devil, but ignorance that is the bane of marital problems in Nigeria.Speaking at the Family Booster Ministries (FBM) annual Singles' Summit, the convener and family coach, Pastor Bisi Adewale, said most singles concern themselves with intercourse rather than interview during courtship.According to the man of God, the period of courtship is to be used to gather information about each other and plan ahead for their future rather than engage in immoral acts.'Courtship is a time to learn all you can about your partner to be and a time to make a retreat if need be, because a broken courtship is better than a broken marriage. It is a time for the intending couple to study themselves and adjust their lifestyles.'Most singles are tempted to have sex before they marry, even if nobody sees you, what about God' Can you hide your sins from God' The fear of God, coupled with self-control would go a long way to help singles overcome the problem of sexual immorality,' Adewale noted.Themed, 'Before you say I do', the summit was meant to teach singles the preparations to make before consenting to marriage. Marriage, being a lifetime affair, needed to be guided carefully; while the counsellor noted that many a marriage has been destroyed before it was even contracted.He therefore urged singles to discover their purpose before marriage as their vision would make their marriage work; to check love as love is like a coin which must have both head and tail, warning that no single should marry somebody who tolerates him/her but somebody who celebrates him/her.'Also, check character because your character is your marriage and most importantly, have a personal relationship with God, who should be your guide.' Adewale volunteered.He however said, 'Many tread the journey to a failed marriage long before they walk down the aisle because they did not put the right things in place before they said, 'Yes, I do'.'Wealth, knowledge, beauty, money, position, anointing, intelligence, connections and even spirituality cannot help you if you are ill-prepared. Nothing can fill the void caused by a lack of preparation and no one can do it for you.'Even God recognises that it is your responsibility to prepare for marriage, so He will not do for you what you can do for yourself', quoting from Proverbs16: 1 thus: 'The preparations of the heart is in man and the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.'Other issues to note included the mindsets you must change before marriage, be convinced, secure parental blessing, understand the different stages in marriage and their challenges, get a good job, be mature, prepare for marriage, make sure you agree, openness, check trust, deal with 'me', celebrate 'we', attend marriage seminars and a marriage school, and a host of others are the subject of a book of same title as the theme and written by the convener.Adewale urged all singles that were engaged in illicit affairs, with other singles or married people to desist from such or else the hand of God would be heavy upon them.On hand to spice the summit were the FBM choir, the Gyration crew and Erujeje, numerous gospel music ministers; while many companies and organisations which supported the summit were duly recognised. The gymnasium hall of the National Stadium venue of the event was filled with youths from all over the nation.A male youth, who simply identified himself as Gboyega from the University of Ilorin said he travelled down to Lagos purposely to attend the summit. 'I don't miss this programme. I have been attending it every year in the last five years. Pastor Bisi and his wife are blessings to this generation. I believe in his practical teachings. If singles and the married will listen to the teachings of this man of God and do them, marriages will become heaven on earth and bed of roses I am sure.'Corroborating him, Julie, a serving corps member, who attended the summit in the company of her fianc said, 'I cannot thank God enough for this marriage minister and his ministry. To say that I have enjoyed the ministration is to say the least. I am glad I came with my spouse to be. We hope to put into practise all that we have learnt in order to have the best of homes. May God bless this man of God and his family (Amen)'.
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