Chanukah had started, the menorah was litThe family had sung, now they'd give gifts and sitA little big brown-eyed girl and her brother Got loads of great stuff then gave stuff to each other Her dad thought her gift of some slippers terrificBut her mother had taste which was very specificShe unwrapped a big box and took out a hat "It's not me," said her mom quite simply. "Take it back"That night, at her window, the little girl wonderedHow she could have with such a bad hat have blundered"Whatever shall I do'" cried the befuddled little girl"To fix this muddled gift would take a miracle"Then suddenly there appeared out of the fogGleaming helmets--OK, it's LA, it was smog--Helmets on horseback were bearing none otherThan Chanukah's very own brave band of brothersThe little girl rubbed her big brown eyes and staredAt the Maccabees as they rode up and declared "Miracles don't stop with this holiday's lightsWe'll get your mom a gift she'll keep more than eight nightsYou've the right to the freedom to shop without fearYour plight is our fight, it is why we are hereBut where can one get a present this lateThat's something your mother will like and not hate'""We get stuff in stores so let's go to the mall,"Explained the little girl. "They've the most stores of all""To the mall!" the proud Maccabees shouted as one"There's a picky-present, gift-giving war to be won!"And so on the mall the righteous battalion descendedWith the girl hoping her gifting faux pas could be mendedFirst let me say you'd need a very good reasonTo go to a mall during the holiday season But go there they did, though it wasn't so easyAs traffic at malls can make anyone queasyThey cruised both the lower and top parking coursesBut all spots had cars so they valeted the horses Then they marched inside, and at first they fit inFor the place was aloud with a crowd-crushing dinAnd they would've been fine if old Miss BusybodyHadn't noticed their swords and then dropped all her moneyWhich she quickly picked up as she panicked and shriekedThen security was called and the chaos peakedClerks dove behind counters though some patrons did shout"Are those swords on sale'" while still others ran outBut the warriors stood strong, "There's no way we're disarmingOur swords match our shields, it's why our armor's so charming"But before the girl could speak some large blue-suited menBounded down escalators and surrounded all of themThen from the front lines stepped forth the bold JudahTo address a big guard whose name-tag dubbed him "Buddha" "We're just here in Bloomingdale's doing a mitzvahTo find something for this poor girl's mother that fits her"Big Buddha who chewed on what he had just heardBurped his reply as he digested the word"If by 'mitzvah' you mean 'purchase' well then, by all means, pleaseFor we wouldn't think of stopping any shopping Maccabees"So from the bowels of housewares the army took its leaveCut a swath through lingerie until they found accessoriesThey ransacked the hats, "no," the scarves, "no," the kerchiefs"I don't think we'll find anything good here to purchase,"The little girl sniffed as she searched and then sighed But then in a glass case she suddenly spiedA pair of brown leather gloves so soft and taperedWith room for long nails like her dear mother favored"It's perfect," proclaimed Judah. "The beige trim will goWith that sweater you gave her four Chanukahs ago"Thus the troops with breath held to the little girl prodded"It's a miracle," she whispered, then looked up and nodded "Mazel Tov!" yelled the Maccabees, relieved and elatedThen they danced in a circle as they celebratedThen patrons joined in, boys on left, girls on rightAll dancing in Bloomie's, it was quite a sightNow upon the clerk's face which was frozen with fearCame a warmth which he hadn't felt for nearly a yearHe gulped and hem-hemed and when his throat let itHis voice cracked as he asked, "Is that cash, or credit'""If by 'credit' you mean 'yichus,'" said Judah, "you will find This little girl's last name has established quite a line" And to prove it the girl produced her good name on plastic"We'll take it," said the clerk. Cried the Maccabees, "That's fantastic!You can buy things with yichus' I wish I were living!"And then they went home with the gloves she was giving The next night the girl gave her mother those glovesAnd she could tell by her face they were gloves she would loveBut when her dad tucked her in, it struck her as weirdThat he looked just like Judah, only without the beardHe kissed her and winked and turned out the lightAnd she looked out the window and thought of last nightAnd so as you consider whether to keep gifts or return them Exchange them for earmuffs or just want to burn themRemember the Maccabees who with courage and thriftBraved a mall in December to get you that gift Then called back to the little girl as they rode off in haste"Happy Chanukah to all, and to all, better taste!"A Little Big Brown-Eyed Girl AdventureD. M'za 2009
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