Two-year-olds are a pretty formidable bunch.Between the tantrums, messes and general toddler shenanigans, theres a reason people call this phase the terrible twos. Fortunately, parents can commiserate with humor.Weve rounded up 33 funny tweets about parenting 2-year-olds. Keep scrolling for some hilarious anecdotes and spot-on reflections.Get off the table. Stay away from the trash. Stop licking old pizza. Don't play in the litter.-Me, talking to my 2yo, not my cat Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) February 27, 2016 My 2-year-old is running around the house naked and screaming, "No, monkeys! No!"Being a toddler is a lot like a bad acid trip. James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) February 19, 2017 "So can you tell us what makes you qualified for the position of hostage negotiator'""I have a 2 year old.""You're hired." full metal mommy (@FullMetalMommy) May 4, 2015 A dog once waited in the same spot for 9 years for his dead masterMy 2-year-old is doing the same thing for an empty push pop I threw away pic.twitter.com/aGBOh9jAxd James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) October 15, 2016 You haven't known suffering until you've taken a 2-year-old shopping for a birthday gift that isn't for them. OutnumberedMother (@OutNumbMother) September 3, 2016 I know my 2yo loves me because I'm the one he runs to when he's stuffed too much food in his mouth and needs to spit it into someone's hand. Missy (@MamaFizzles) February 23, 2017 Our 2-year-old has reached that adorable milestone where he communicates through unintelligible words, screaming, and physical violence. Ramblin' Mama (@ramblinma) May 3, 2016 Just fell down the basement stairs. My 2-year-old saw it and was concerned, so he walked down to kiss it better - and stepped on my balls. Aaron Gouveia (@DaddyFiles) April 12, 2016 Telling a 2 year old "Don't make a mess" is like asking me to give up wine. It just ain't gonna happen. MommieKnowsfresh (@MommieKnwsFresh) April 8, 2015 You know you're crushing this parenthood thing when one of your kids says your 2 year old is drinking coffee and you don't even investigate. Kelcey Kintner (@mamabirddiaries) January 30, 2016 How a 2.833333 year old plays hide and seek. If I can't see her face, she must not exist right' #SchrodingersKid pic.twitter.com/8CTYAh1wor Brachmann (@VivaBrachmann) November 30, 2016 I wish I loved anything as much as my 2yo loves her shadow. CrazyExhaustion (@CrazyExhaustion) February 25, 2016 Snapchat brings out the true essence of my 2yo. pic.twitter.com/NduXAa1X9j Missy (@MamaFizzles) February 18, 2017 Child's new thing is to spin in circles till he's dizzy and falls down. This is the 2 year old equivalent of going to the bar. dadpression (@Dadpression) October 24, 2016 I guess "please poop on the potty" sounds like "please poop on the coffee table" to my 2-year old son. Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) August 17, 2015 I told my 2-year-old to get toilet paper to wipe her noseShe grabbed half a squareI told her to get a big pieceShe came back with this pic.twitter.com/0X0lzH5Xmu James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) December 18, 2016 You think GG Allin did some fucked up stuff' Come meet my 2 year old that's learned to take off his diaper. Julia Segal (@juliasegal) January 19, 2017 Two things:1: 2yo has begun wandering the house, creepily asking "Mommy, where are you'".2: I am now in a horror movie. MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) October 11, 2016 My 2-year-old threw a temper tantrum because she wants to eat cereal but both her hands are full of stuffed animals.The struggle is real. James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) June 18, 2016 It has taken my 2yo less than 24 hours to make friends with the mannequin heads that hold my grandma's wigs. MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) August 5, 2016 The ultimate toddler paradox: an unstoppable 2-year-old meeting an immovable sliding glass door. Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) June 19, 2016 Want to know what privacy looks like when you have a 2 year old' This. pic.twitter.com/4Y1jfvhvpN Brachmann (@VivaBrachmann) September 18, 2016 Doorbell just rang. My 2 year old:"oh! It's chocolate!" I like the way you think, sister. Stephanie Rodham D (@StephDsays) October 11, 2016 After 10 hrs of flying, my 2-year-old emerged from the plane, ripped off her diaper and peed on the tarmac. Girl knows how to make a splash! Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) April 24, 2016 FYI if a 2 year old gets ahold of a sharpie, she'll make Anna & Elsa look hard as hell pic.twitter.com/eOU70rMdGZ Brian Gaar (@briangaar) August 9, 2015 My dad gave my 2-year-old a birthday candle to lick. He ate it instead. And then threw up on grandpa. Happy birthday! #parenting #Family Aaron Gouveia (@DaddyFiles) April 17, 2016 My 2-year-old threw a fit because I didn't let her wear two shoes on the same foot.I'm no longer sure which of us is being unreasonable. James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) February 20, 2017 A 2-year-old's sole purpose in life is to make as big as mess as humanly possible and then scream when you try to intervene. HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) February 1, 2016 2-year-old: *offers me imaginary food* Eat it.Me: Mmmm. Yum.2: You ate dog poop. James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) February 19, 2017 Nothing creepier than your 2-year-old making intense eye contact while peeing on the potty. A real power move. Jessica Grose (@JessGrose) May 23, 2015 The difference between my 2 year old and a tornado in my living room is that a tornado doesn't pee on my floor. John Kinnear (@askdadblog) February 26, 2015 I've never shorn a wild badger, but I assume it's just like giving my 2yo a haircut. MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) September 26, 2016 One thing I admire about my 2-year-old is that he'll step on your face with his shoes on if you are lying on the floor. He doesn't care. Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 6, 2015 -- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
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